Lebanese Jester

Me, my Lebanon, and I.com weblog

Wlek Tfeh !

“3rd republic”, “Ô glorious day (7th of May)”, “Syrian interference in the Bekaa”, “your father is a liar and so is your mother”, “it was just a slip of the tongue”, “we won’t forget as long as the sky is blue” ….etc.
A defective cellular network, traffic jams due to (supposedly) uncoordinated efforts, tension running high in the streets once again, and a faulty keyboard; are more than I can bear!
C’est quoi ce bordel (sorry Ekios)! I came back home in the hope of retiring and resting my weary bones. And all of you, who once deprived me of my childhood and innocence, are now making sure that my last days will not be any different.
1) Hassouna: 7th of May is nothing short in comparison to the 20th of January 1976 (Damour), or (another event that you might better relate to, for the time being) September 18th 1982 (Sabra & Chatila), or even (and this is just to ruffle your feathers, or shall I say turban) 2nd of October 1983 (attack on the American barracks), or any other bloody day within our history.
2) Micho: Kelloun kezzabin wa oukhwat charmouta; but on October 13th 1990, who was the one who fled in his pajamas to the French embassy leaving his soldiers behind? Granted it is the dream of every single “true Lebanese” to live freely in a country that is independent, sovereign, and enjoys territorial integrity, and moreover you talk (not so calmly) of “fassad”. I ask of you: Where is our sovereignty when our destiny you have tied (via your MOU with the Hizb) to that of Palestine and the Israeli problem? Where is this independence and sovereignty, when one of your sponsors (again via your MOU with the Hezb) has yet to demarcate the borders? Where does the “fasad” lays , when you can afford to deface the endless kilometers of Lebanese soil with your demeaning slogans?
3) Doc Geagea: I guess that the years spent in solitary in a basement at the “wizaret al difa3” were not enough to wash away the misdeeds of your past (and yours might need at least three generations of semi amnesiacs in order to ensure some kind of redemption). I do not give a crap if you have spent your time reading the Bible or any other religious book; your past (bloody and painful) is still vividly engraved in my soul that (to quote yet another idiot) “ma binsa wil sama zarka”.
4) Walid Beik: “A slip of the tongue”????? why ? was your head shoved up Hassouna’s arse so far that you took a liking to it? Or is it the “survival of the fittest”? How many more changes of allegiances will it take you to finally make a firm stand? Kamal is rolling in his grave, for he had the courage to stand for his beliefs (and that is why he was silenced). Go back to riding motorbikes, for you have shamed (and no I am not sectarian) your fellow Lebanese.
5) Goatee Saad : As a new comer in this cesspool, you should have stuck to taking care of your father’s “international” business. This new found Sunni alliance with the LF (and other Christian fractions) will not hold for long, in their (Christians that is) minds it is nothing but the lesser of two evils.
The list of grievances is long and encompasses the entire political class, wlek TFEH AND KISS EKHTKOUN KELLKOUN. I do not care if Brahim Kenaan’s convoy was attacked a couple of days ago, nor do I care about the exchange of gun fire in Becharre within the Touk family; but I am worried about the two last speeches of Hassouna (our divine leader) who started by (whilst pointing and shaking his finger in anger) telling us that the vents of the 7th f May are not only glorious but could also be extended to cover the 10452 Km2 that is Lebanon (excluding for the time being the Shebaa farms and the Ghajar village), and his explanation with regards to the Israeli maneuvers (as if it was the first time Israel undertakes such maneuvers) and how he reserves the rights (as a resistance of course) to take counter measures. Wlek ya Hassouna ma3leich, I wasn’t born yesterday.
From those “progeniture” of old prominent figures, outspoken, power crazed, megalomaniacs, new born Christians, newly released prisoners, blood stained militia leaders; to those barely riding on their family train (the likes of Arslan, Karame,…etc) WLEK FIKKO 3ANNA. Retire and enjoy all the money that you have accumulated (illegally) throughout our (doomed) first republic and still do today; and let us be.
The more we approach the “jour J”, the more I am convinced that my country is doomed.
Fuck it I say, screw them all!
BUT HOW? I am open to suggestions.

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May 19, 2009 - Posted by | Arslan, Christian, Damour, Hassan Nasrallah, Hizbullah, Israel, Kamal Jumblat, Lebanese Forces, Lebanon, Michel Aoun, Rachid Karame, Saad Hariri, Tayyar, Walid Jumblat |

5 Comments »

  1. plane? boat? horse? camel?
    to an island? to another planet? jupiter? saturn? the moon?

    Comment by mc | May 19, 2009

  2. ah oui j’oubliais, il y a aussi coup de pied au c…

    Comment by mc | May 19, 2009

  3. I like the later better !

    Comment by marillionlb | May 19, 2009

  4. Well..it isn’t like this hasn’t happened before. It’s “deja vu” all over again. I think that the sayyed is nervous about the latest developments in the region with respect to what is happening in Egypt (hizb cell caught) and Israel (great military maneuvers) and it is a way for him to warn all local actors they had better remember the “glorious” spanking that they got last year if they attempted to outstage him at this time….this kind of speech is what is fueling all this tension in the country and it isn’t helping to calm things down. You have to question the wisdom of such a speech when you consider that all the so called experts are pointing to a “divine” victory on June 7th…perhaps it is a little reminder by the sayyed that we had better win or…..
    As you always say and rightfully so: wlak TFEH!

    Comment by VOR | May 19, 2009

  5. why don’t you whatsyourface leave the country? we do not need those pessimistic always-naggers and negative people here, we have enough of them. If you really care for the country and wanna do something positive: put yourself in a plane and never come back and make sure not to have babies.

    darwin said smthg about your specie: some people enhance the human race buy eliminating themselves from it.

    and by the way, comparing all thieves you mentioned to the only decent officer in the Lebanese Army is a blasphemy

    Comment by Moss w bla3 | October 13, 2012


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