Lebanese Jester

Me, my Lebanon, and I.com weblog

Wlek fri2ouna bi ri7a taybeh !

Sick and tired of half backed local election speeches vulgarly delivered by erected dicks from all sides, pretending to have my country’s best interest at heart.
Like every father, I had dreams and hopes for my son. Such dreams included a happy childhood away from struggle and strife (civil unrest, let alone civil war), and a deep rooted sense of pride in the fact that he was Lebanese. I am fully aware that the “cocodi” has long been gone, the family trips to “Spinneys” by the airport road can no longer be undertaken, “Saint Simon” and “Accapulco” have now been replaced by “Tasli7 ashikmon”, that Christmas does no longer officially begin with the lights on Hamra street, and “Toyland” is no longer there. Many memories I would have liked to relive through Tarek (my son). Granted people evolve and things change, but a great part of local history has been wiped out and no one seems to care. None of those erected dicks (running for election) seem to give a damn about keeping this “life line” going. What we are left with today in this cursed country of mine are landmarks reflecting the hatred that has been brewing for years and suddenly exploded.
Today I took my son for a haircut and for a split second I was transported back in time, back to the days when my dad took me to the local barber shop (now we have “salon de coiffure”). It made me realize (although a normal evolution) that even the simplest of experiences I would have liked to share with Tarek is no longer possible; for the times have changed. If only they have changed for the best, I wouldn’t have minded. I came to realize that many of my childhood’s cherished memories I will never relive or share with him. He will never ride the bumper cars at the “Cocodi”, swim in the “Saint Simon”, go to Toyland or 2aisar 3amer, cinema Saroulla…. Etc.
At the “salon de coiffure” today I could smell talcum powder and Old Spice, but it was only in my head.
So to my dear leaders (all, with no exception) Wlek fri2ouna bi ri7ha taybeh, but be kind enough to pick any of the following, for it reminds me of days long gone but never forgotten.

Old Spice



Pino Silvestre


May 27, 2009 Posted by | Balafre, Children, Christmas, Civil war, Family, Hamra street, Old Spice, Pino Silvestre Vidal, Saint Simon, Tabac, Tarek | | 1 Comment

Merry Christmas

December 25, 2008 Posted by | Christmas, Desmond Tutu, Humor | , | 3 Comments

My Christmas wish list

Dear Santa, it has been a while since I last believed or truly celebrated Christmas; for I have grown more and more disillusioned and bitter with age. I will spare you the psychoanalysis and the revival of past Christmases spent hiding from death and destruction. Today I have renewed my faith in the holiday spirit. My house is filled with flickering lights, angels, decorations and presents neatly wrapped under a tree (I even planted one n my garden). I know I might have passed my deadline for sending my Christmas list, but I sure hope you will get it on time (I do have my doubts). Although my list may seem short, I do not expect from you (on such a short notice) to be able to grant me the only item, and all which it entails at once. Therefore I would like you to consider it as an “an open ended” wish list. Take it at your own pace, and feel free to grant me parts of it as the years go by (but not too many, for I am getting old).
I wish for:
• My son to be proud of his Lebanese heritage, and live in peace and harmony in his country of origin.
N.B: Keep in mind that my son is a nature and animal lover. Although at the tender age of twelve he does have a critical eye and gets upset when he sees our people polluting this once beautiful land of ours, now filled with hatred and corruption. So in order to fulfill my wish dear Santa you should take into consideration the following criteria that are in dire need amongst my fellow compatriots:

1. Providing our political class with some decent weed so that they spend more time loving than hating, maybe then they will resign and stay home tending to their wives/mistresses.
2. Make my fellow Lebanese finally accept that they are not the “chosen” people and that the world does not revolve around an area of 10,452 Km₂
3. Household garbage is meant to be disposed of properly and not from car windows, in rivers and on the side of roads.
4. Traffic lights are not just Christmas decoration.
5. Wearing an army or any other governmental uniform does not make one man God.
6. Hired help are not slaves to be used and abused.
7. Religion and rituals are something you practice within your own privacy and is not imposed on others.
8. Rights are redeemable when you actually pay your dues.
9. Respect is gained and not imposed.
10. Use your God given gift of thought and will before following blindly.
11. Children are a responsibility not to be passed onto maids and (to those fortunate enough) nannies and maids.
12. Money is not an escape route to all your misdeeds.
One point a month will do, dear Santa; and by next year I will come up with another twelve, one for each month.
Enclosed as a thank you (and a motivation) a clip that I hope you will enjoy !

Yours truly

December 22, 2008 Posted by | Christmas, Lebanon, Marilyn Monroe, Santa | , | 5 Comments