Lebanese Jester

Me, my Lebanon, and I.com weblog

To vote or not to vote

A “pivotal moment” seems to be the label put by all upon the upcoming elections. Every single Tom, Dick & Harry is trying his hardest to sway electoral votes his way with half baked promises and distorted images of their respective gruesome past. Mentions of a “powerful”, “independent”, “free of any foreign influence”, “corruption free”, “debt free”, “prosperous” …etc ; are being flogged by the dozen on local TV stations.
“Vote for me” they all say “for I am your ONLY salvation”.
The streets are cluttered with cars branding different colored flags on their way to political rallies, which span all over the 10452Km2 we once called home. And for the few of us who still actually work, once we get home, we are faced with local TV stations reminding us once again, that THEY ARE THE RIGHT CHOICE.
Before going any further in my ramblings tonight, let me reiterate that I do not adhere to any political party, I am Lebanese (and this is the cross I bear). I have spent numerous hours lately watching (so called) political debates and reading articles pertaining to the upcoming elections with a very critical eye, in the hope of finding a “divine” (and no I am not referring to Hassouna) sign which will point me towards voting for the “lesser of two evil” (yes this is what the upcoming elections come down to). Suddenly, EUREKA! A name came to my mind, that of Joseph Sader. His story (disappearance) is only 4 months old, but not many care to remember. Our dear (soon to be RE-ELECTED) warlords recall and use all the missing citizens in the past 30 years, but none mentions Joseph.
In February 2009 an MEA employee was kidnapped on his way home and hasn’t been heard of ever since. Kidnapped in an area that is indisputably known to be controlled by this crazed, turban wearing, Iranian allegiance pledging, divine local protector of all downtrodden Arabs in the universe (and beyond).

joseph-sader

Within 24 hours of his disappearance, rumors came out that he was passing information to the enemy (No not Syria, but our ONLY enemy Israel); then another story that he was handed over to the Lebanese army (which later was denied).
Recently the Lebanese authorities have successfully dismantled a couple of Israeli spy networks, but as far as we the people are concerned, the name of Joseph did not figure in any of the affidavits given by those arrested. So where is Joseph?
I could put past me (but no I can’t) 7harb al ta7hrir, 7harb al ilgha, Holiday Inn, Terry Wait, Morabitoun, Fath, Ahmad Jibril, Sabra & Chatila, Damour…etc; I thought we had moved forward. But calling the 7th of May a glorious day; still rings in my ear. The ONE major artery is controlled by a crazed lunatic, and Joseph faith is known only to him. My decision has been made, on Sunday, I will vote (in the south) AGAINST HIM and those who associated with him (M.O.U).
WLEK TFEH!

June 2, 2009 Posted by | Damour, Fath, Hassan Nasrallah, Hizbullah, Isarel, Michel Aoun, Mourabitoun, Syria, Terry Waite | , , | 8 Comments

Wlek Tfeh !

“3rd republic”, “Ô glorious day (7th of May)”, “Syrian interference in the Bekaa”, “your father is a liar and so is your mother”, “it was just a slip of the tongue”, “we won’t forget as long as the sky is blue” ….etc.
A defective cellular network, traffic jams due to (supposedly) uncoordinated efforts, tension running high in the streets once again, and a faulty keyboard; are more than I can bear!
C’est quoi ce bordel (sorry Ekios)! I came back home in the hope of retiring and resting my weary bones. And all of you, who once deprived me of my childhood and innocence, are now making sure that my last days will not be any different.
1) Hassouna: 7th of May is nothing short in comparison to the 20th of January 1976 (Damour), or (another event that you might better relate to, for the time being) September 18th 1982 (Sabra & Chatila), or even (and this is just to ruffle your feathers, or shall I say turban) 2nd of October 1983 (attack on the American barracks), or any other bloody day within our history.
2) Micho: Kelloun kezzabin wa oukhwat charmouta; but on October 13th 1990, who was the one who fled in his pajamas to the French embassy leaving his soldiers behind? Granted it is the dream of every single “true Lebanese” to live freely in a country that is independent, sovereign, and enjoys territorial integrity, and moreover you talk (not so calmly) of “fassad”. I ask of you: Where is our sovereignty when our destiny you have tied (via your MOU with the Hizb) to that of Palestine and the Israeli problem? Where is this independence and sovereignty, when one of your sponsors (again via your MOU with the Hezb) has yet to demarcate the borders? Where does the “fasad” lays , when you can afford to deface the endless kilometers of Lebanese soil with your demeaning slogans?
3) Doc Geagea: I guess that the years spent in solitary in a basement at the “wizaret al difa3” were not enough to wash away the misdeeds of your past (and yours might need at least three generations of semi amnesiacs in order to ensure some kind of redemption). I do not give a crap if you have spent your time reading the Bible or any other religious book; your past (bloody and painful) is still vividly engraved in my soul that (to quote yet another idiot) “ma binsa wil sama zarka”.
4) Walid Beik: “A slip of the tongue”????? why ? was your head shoved up Hassouna’s arse so far that you took a liking to it? Or is it the “survival of the fittest”? How many more changes of allegiances will it take you to finally make a firm stand? Kamal is rolling in his grave, for he had the courage to stand for his beliefs (and that is why he was silenced). Go back to riding motorbikes, for you have shamed (and no I am not sectarian) your fellow Lebanese.
5) Goatee Saad : As a new comer in this cesspool, you should have stuck to taking care of your father’s “international” business. This new found Sunni alliance with the LF (and other Christian fractions) will not hold for long, in their (Christians that is) minds it is nothing but the lesser of two evils.
The list of grievances is long and encompasses the entire political class, wlek TFEH AND KISS EKHTKOUN KELLKOUN. I do not care if Brahim Kenaan’s convoy was attacked a couple of days ago, nor do I care about the exchange of gun fire in Becharre within the Touk family; but I am worried about the two last speeches of Hassouna (our divine leader) who started by (whilst pointing and shaking his finger in anger) telling us that the vents of the 7th f May are not only glorious but could also be extended to cover the 10452 Km2 that is Lebanon (excluding for the time being the Shebaa farms and the Ghajar village), and his explanation with regards to the Israeli maneuvers (as if it was the first time Israel undertakes such maneuvers) and how he reserves the rights (as a resistance of course) to take counter measures. Wlek ya Hassouna ma3leich, I wasn’t born yesterday.
From those “progeniture” of old prominent figures, outspoken, power crazed, megalomaniacs, new born Christians, newly released prisoners, blood stained militia leaders; to those barely riding on their family train (the likes of Arslan, Karame,…etc) WLEK FIKKO 3ANNA. Retire and enjoy all the money that you have accumulated (illegally) throughout our (doomed) first republic and still do today; and let us be.
The more we approach the “jour J”, the more I am convinced that my country is doomed.
Fuck it I say, screw them all!
BUT HOW? I am open to suggestions.

May 19, 2009 Posted by | Arslan, Christian, Damour, Hassan Nasrallah, Hizbullah, Israel, Kamal Jumblat, Lebanese Forces, Lebanon, Michel Aoun, Rachid Karame, Saad Hariri, Tayyar, Walid Jumblat | | 5 Comments

In the name of Palestine

If some of you still wonder why I was not able to shed any tear while watching the news early this year; here is a glimpse of some of the reasons why. From the PLO, Fatah, Al Saika, ..etc, all the way to Hamas, even omitting what took place outside my comfort zone (Achille Lauro, Brussels, Athens…etc)

This is where it began

This is when “sisterly” relations became incestuous

And these are a few samples why I lost all tolerance and hope.

Yes I know from the start what many of you will say, and once again I do not give a flying fuck (not to be mistaken by a kassam or a katyusha rocket); but I have raised my son differently.
To those child murderers (who wont understand, or seek to understand) I leave you with the following (and may you rot in hell).

January 30, 2009 Posted by | Achille Lauro, Assad, Brain washing, Children, Damour, death., Gaza, Islamic Jihad, Kids, Palestine, Palestinian Liberation Front, PLO, War, Yves Duteil | , , , | 12 Comments

Died in vain part "II"

The year is 1976, and the death counter is still rolling over fast. What follows is a mention of a few series of events (and not only death toll) which had in impact on Lebanon.

7th January : Battle of Tal Al Zaatar and Jisr Al Basha, numerous dead on both sides (over 2000).

16th January : Lebanese aviation (yes we did have one) raid over Khaldeh and Aramoun, 30 dead.

20th January : Damour massacre, 350 dead.

30th January : Ahmad El Khatib declares the creation of “The Army Of Arab Lebanon”

11th March : Failed coup attempt by Ahmed El Khatib.

21st March : Mourabitoun enter down town and take over the Holiday Inn hotel, 365 dead.

1st June : Syria intervenes in Akkar and brake the siege in Kobeyyate from the Army Of Arab Lebanon.

16th June : kidnapping followed by the murder of US Embassador Francois Meloy, US economic adviser Rober Waring and their driver.

21st June : The Arab Peace Keeping Force enters Lebanon.

27th June : The battle of the Palestinian camps started.

12th August : Death toll in Tal Al Zaatar reaches 2000.

17th August : PSP & PLO Shell Ouyoune Al Simane and Faraya.

28th September : Syrian and Christian forces attack Palestinian factions in Sannine, Aintoura and Mtein.

16th Novemeber : Death toll reaches 60,000.

More GLOOMY reminder to come later !

Photobucket

August 29, 2008 Posted by | Ahmad El Khatib, Arab Peace Keeping Force, Damour, Lebanon, Mourabitoun, PLO, Syria, Tal Al Zaatar | 14 Comments

Died in vain part "II"

The year is 1976, and the death counter is still rolling over fast. What follows is a mention of a few series of events (and not only death toll) which had in impact on Lebanon.

7th January : Battle of Tal Al Zaatar and Jisr Al Basha, numerous dead on both sides (over 2000).

16th January : Lebanese aviation (yes we did have one) raid over Khaldeh and Aramoun, 30 dead.

20th January : Damour massacre, 350 dead.

30th January : Ahmad El Khatib declares the creation of “The Army Of Arab Lebanon”

11th March : Failed coup attempt by Ahmed El Khatib.

21st March : Mourabitoun enter down town and take over the Holiday Inn hotel, 365 dead.

1st June : Syria intervenes in Akkar and brake the siege in Kobeyyate from the Army Of Arab Lebanon.

16th June : kidnapping followed by the murder of US Embassador Francois Meloy, US economic adviser Rober Waring and their driver.

21st June : The Arab Peace Keeping Force enters Lebanon.

27th June : The battle of the Palestinian camps started.

12th August : Death toll in Tal Al Zaatar reaches 2000.

17th August : PSP & PLO Shell Ouyoune Al Simane and Faraya.

28th September : Syrian and Christian forces attack Palestinian factions in Sannine, Aintoura and Mtein.

16th Novemeber : Death toll reaches 60,000.

More GLOOMY reminder to come later !

Photobucket

August 29, 2008 Posted by | Ahmad El Khatib, Arab Peace Keeping Force, Damour, Lebanon, Mourabitoun, PLO, Syria, Tal Al Zaatar | Leave a comment