Lebanese Jester

Me, my Lebanon, and I.com weblog

Half a century…… almost!

Half a century almost; and STILL I am in search of answers.
Half a century almost; and I am STILL being forced to deal with forced changes.
Half a century almost; and my future STILL seems insecure.
Half a century almost; and my disdain is STILL ever growing.
Half a century almost; And STILL I can’t claim to be part of ONE nation and ONE people.
Half a century almost; and I STILL have my gun close by in my night stand.

The above is nothing but a mere ‘lucarne’ to the soul of those Lebanese born into the early 60’s, and still believe in the land of the Cedars (and for those less romantic you can call it LEBANON).
From Bechara Al Khoury, Majid Arslan, Kamal Junblat, Camille Chamoun, Fouad Chehab, Antoun Saadeh, to Maarouf Saad, Etienne Sakr, , Saad Haddad, Ibrahim Kulaylat..etc ending with the likes of Henry Kissinger, Jimmy Carter, Mouammar Al Kaddafi, Yasser Arafat… and many more; we should have realized a long time ago that we are (according to the “then and now” prevailing powers) “disposable”, not even as a nation or people; just plain DISPOSABLE. And we still are.
Over 180,000 shed blood for their different vision of the motherland; and here we are today standing (gun in hand) at square one. Two generations (and the third is in the making) since our so called independence and the divide is growing deeper. The fear of one (OK only a couple) of the 18 different religious sects trying to take over and change the face of Lebanon, is a notion I never would have even entertained, but has now became ‘food for thought’. On one hand we have a Divine protector who pledges allegiance to Wilayat al Fakih backed by a demented general, and on the other hand we have a new born Christian allied to the very religious sect, who not long ago wanted to push him to the sea and create a Palestinian state within our borders.
And this new generation of ours (the second generation, our hope for a better future) has jumped on the “revolution” bandwagon, and demonstrates almost every Sunday for a secular state. “iskat al nizam” they shout out proudly; but what “nizam” I ask? The same “nizam” which allows you to ride your moped and wreak havoc within safe neighborhood? Or the very same “nizam” which allows you to have darkened windshields on your car, a license to carry arms, to fire RPG rocket in jubilation, to have your dad on the government payroll whilst holding another more lucrative job?
Lebanon is not Tunisia, Egypt, Bahrain, Libya… or even Sierra Leon. Lebanon is the only country within the Middle East whereby a Christian can have a say and not be persecuted for his beliefs, and his places of worship not burned to the ground (like Egypt even after the January revolution). Lebanon is a Biblical land, and Lebanon is the only safe haven for Christians.
Having said that; yes I am for a secular state. A STRONG state which will provide for ALL its people equally.
The state of Lebanon, where any citizen will not have to notice the difference between any millimeters of the 10452km2.
The State of Lebanon where one can take his camera and take pictures of mountains, valleys, churches, mosques, synagogues, …etc without being told that he couldn’t.
The state of Lebanon, where a mother has the right to pass on the Lebanese nationality to her children.
The state of Lebanon, where “ahwal al shakhsiya” are the same for all its citizens regardless of religion.
The state of Lebanon, where religious figures take care of their flock and do not dwell in politics.
The state of Lebanon, where one religious sect is NO LONGER ALLOWED to impose its way of life within its area of influence.
The state of Lebanon, held accountable towards its people regardless.
The state of Lebanon, capable of providing basic necessities and security to all its citizens.
The state of Lebanon……. The list is long.
But mainly, THE STATE OF LEBANON SHOULD BE WILLING TO INVEST INTO EDUCATING THIS 3RD GENERATION IMPREGNATED WITH FANATICISM AND HATE PASSED DOWN, IF EVER THERE IS TO BE HOPE FOR A BETTER FUTURE.
Are you going to demonstrate next Sunday? And if you are, for what? 24 hours electricity, decent public transport, health care, clean environment, impartial judicial system, unified history book dealing with the period stretching from 1975 to 1990, spousal abuse law, child labor, demarcation of land and sea frontiers, armed militias, counterfeit food and medicinal products, civil liberties…etc? Or the more pressing issue, according to you, a SECULAR state????

April 1, 2011 Posted by | Arslan, Bashir Gemayel, Christian, Dawlat Al Faqih, Hassan Nasrallah, Independence, Kamal Jumblat, Mourabiton, Palestinians, Religion, Yasser Arafat | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Now that I voted, I can gloat !

Although as a Christian (by birth) the “Massih7 al dajjal” won in my little corner of this Biblical land of MINE. No matter how marginal his victory is; it does pain me to see my quaint little village swooped away by ignorance. Just like Steve Miller said : “the road is long with many a winding turn…, but I am strong…” . I am Strong enough in my beliefs that in 4 years my battle, I will FULLY win; for today’s victory is nothing but the start.

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Today, I bask in the luxury of “gloating”, for I had my fears. A fear which was shared by all the true patriots (which I proudly call the knights of the 10452 Km2 round table). Mordred (the demented general) was inflicted his first blow. Even Morgan Le Fay (Hassouna) , Mordred’s divine protector admitted defeat, and is now concocting some yet unknown devilish potion.

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But “Excalibur” was taken out of the stone, and Sir Galahad started his quest for the Holy Grail. The Holy Grail which in 4 years from now will cleanse this land of “milk and honey”, and Mordred and Morgan Le Fay will be cast down to hell. The battle has just begun, in the hope that the majority elected will finally show some balls.
No to armed militias.
No to Hizbullah.
No Tawheed al massareyn.
No to armed Palestinians (within and outside the camps).
No to the “tawtin”.
And, No to the false messiah with demeaning slogans.

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The Knights will prevail !

June 10, 2009 Posted by | Excalibur, Hassan Nasrallah, Hizballah, Holy Grail, King Arthur, Michel Aoun, Mordred, Morgan Le Fay, Sir Galahad, Sir Lancelot, Steve Miller Band | , | 7 Comments

To vote or not to vote

A “pivotal moment” seems to be the label put by all upon the upcoming elections. Every single Tom, Dick & Harry is trying his hardest to sway electoral votes his way with half baked promises and distorted images of their respective gruesome past. Mentions of a “powerful”, “independent”, “free of any foreign influence”, “corruption free”, “debt free”, “prosperous” …etc ; are being flogged by the dozen on local TV stations.
“Vote for me” they all say “for I am your ONLY salvation”.
The streets are cluttered with cars branding different colored flags on their way to political rallies, which span all over the 10452Km2 we once called home. And for the few of us who still actually work, once we get home, we are faced with local TV stations reminding us once again, that THEY ARE THE RIGHT CHOICE.
Before going any further in my ramblings tonight, let me reiterate that I do not adhere to any political party, I am Lebanese (and this is the cross I bear). I have spent numerous hours lately watching (so called) political debates and reading articles pertaining to the upcoming elections with a very critical eye, in the hope of finding a “divine” (and no I am not referring to Hassouna) sign which will point me towards voting for the “lesser of two evil” (yes this is what the upcoming elections come down to). Suddenly, EUREKA! A name came to my mind, that of Joseph Sader. His story (disappearance) is only 4 months old, but not many care to remember. Our dear (soon to be RE-ELECTED) warlords recall and use all the missing citizens in the past 30 years, but none mentions Joseph.
In February 2009 an MEA employee was kidnapped on his way home and hasn’t been heard of ever since. Kidnapped in an area that is indisputably known to be controlled by this crazed, turban wearing, Iranian allegiance pledging, divine local protector of all downtrodden Arabs in the universe (and beyond).

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Within 24 hours of his disappearance, rumors came out that he was passing information to the enemy (No not Syria, but our ONLY enemy Israel); then another story that he was handed over to the Lebanese army (which later was denied).
Recently the Lebanese authorities have successfully dismantled a couple of Israeli spy networks, but as far as we the people are concerned, the name of Joseph did not figure in any of the affidavits given by those arrested. So where is Joseph?
I could put past me (but no I can’t) 7harb al ta7hrir, 7harb al ilgha, Holiday Inn, Terry Wait, Morabitoun, Fath, Ahmad Jibril, Sabra & Chatila, Damour…etc; I thought we had moved forward. But calling the 7th of May a glorious day; still rings in my ear. The ONE major artery is controlled by a crazed lunatic, and Joseph faith is known only to him. My decision has been made, on Sunday, I will vote (in the south) AGAINST HIM and those who associated with him (M.O.U).
WLEK TFEH!

June 2, 2009 Posted by | Damour, Fath, Hassan Nasrallah, Hizbullah, Isarel, Michel Aoun, Mourabitoun, Syria, Terry Waite | , , | 8 Comments

Wlek Tfeh !

“3rd republic”, “Ô glorious day (7th of May)”, “Syrian interference in the Bekaa”, “your father is a liar and so is your mother”, “it was just a slip of the tongue”, “we won’t forget as long as the sky is blue” ….etc.
A defective cellular network, traffic jams due to (supposedly) uncoordinated efforts, tension running high in the streets once again, and a faulty keyboard; are more than I can bear!
C’est quoi ce bordel (sorry Ekios)! I came back home in the hope of retiring and resting my weary bones. And all of you, who once deprived me of my childhood and innocence, are now making sure that my last days will not be any different.
1) Hassouna: 7th of May is nothing short in comparison to the 20th of January 1976 (Damour), or (another event that you might better relate to, for the time being) September 18th 1982 (Sabra & Chatila), or even (and this is just to ruffle your feathers, or shall I say turban) 2nd of October 1983 (attack on the American barracks), or any other bloody day within our history.
2) Micho: Kelloun kezzabin wa oukhwat charmouta; but on October 13th 1990, who was the one who fled in his pajamas to the French embassy leaving his soldiers behind? Granted it is the dream of every single “true Lebanese” to live freely in a country that is independent, sovereign, and enjoys territorial integrity, and moreover you talk (not so calmly) of “fassad”. I ask of you: Where is our sovereignty when our destiny you have tied (via your MOU with the Hizb) to that of Palestine and the Israeli problem? Where is this independence and sovereignty, when one of your sponsors (again via your MOU with the Hezb) has yet to demarcate the borders? Where does the “fasad” lays , when you can afford to deface the endless kilometers of Lebanese soil with your demeaning slogans?
3) Doc Geagea: I guess that the years spent in solitary in a basement at the “wizaret al difa3” were not enough to wash away the misdeeds of your past (and yours might need at least three generations of semi amnesiacs in order to ensure some kind of redemption). I do not give a crap if you have spent your time reading the Bible or any other religious book; your past (bloody and painful) is still vividly engraved in my soul that (to quote yet another idiot) “ma binsa wil sama zarka”.
4) Walid Beik: “A slip of the tongue”????? why ? was your head shoved up Hassouna’s arse so far that you took a liking to it? Or is it the “survival of the fittest”? How many more changes of allegiances will it take you to finally make a firm stand? Kamal is rolling in his grave, for he had the courage to stand for his beliefs (and that is why he was silenced). Go back to riding motorbikes, for you have shamed (and no I am not sectarian) your fellow Lebanese.
5) Goatee Saad : As a new comer in this cesspool, you should have stuck to taking care of your father’s “international” business. This new found Sunni alliance with the LF (and other Christian fractions) will not hold for long, in their (Christians that is) minds it is nothing but the lesser of two evils.
The list of grievances is long and encompasses the entire political class, wlek TFEH AND KISS EKHTKOUN KELLKOUN. I do not care if Brahim Kenaan’s convoy was attacked a couple of days ago, nor do I care about the exchange of gun fire in Becharre within the Touk family; but I am worried about the two last speeches of Hassouna (our divine leader) who started by (whilst pointing and shaking his finger in anger) telling us that the vents of the 7th f May are not only glorious but could also be extended to cover the 10452 Km2 that is Lebanon (excluding for the time being the Shebaa farms and the Ghajar village), and his explanation with regards to the Israeli maneuvers (as if it was the first time Israel undertakes such maneuvers) and how he reserves the rights (as a resistance of course) to take counter measures. Wlek ya Hassouna ma3leich, I wasn’t born yesterday.
From those “progeniture” of old prominent figures, outspoken, power crazed, megalomaniacs, new born Christians, newly released prisoners, blood stained militia leaders; to those barely riding on their family train (the likes of Arslan, Karame,…etc) WLEK FIKKO 3ANNA. Retire and enjoy all the money that you have accumulated (illegally) throughout our (doomed) first republic and still do today; and let us be.
The more we approach the “jour J”, the more I am convinced that my country is doomed.
Fuck it I say, screw them all!
BUT HOW? I am open to suggestions.

May 19, 2009 Posted by | Arslan, Christian, Damour, Hassan Nasrallah, Hizbullah, Israel, Kamal Jumblat, Lebanese Forces, Lebanon, Michel Aoun, Rachid Karame, Saad Hariri, Tayyar, Walid Jumblat | | 5 Comments

IF, you are LEBANESE

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When open mindedness takes precedence.
When you acknowledge (and accept) the fundamental difference with your fellow citizens.
When political correctness is no longer the only priority.
When your past becomes a lesson to be learned.
When true patriotism is the way forward.
When over used slogans no longer move you.
When you accept that the enemy does lie within.
When your are convinced that your current leaders no longer represent your aspirations.
When you truly feel that your well being is being threatened and change is needed.
When you accept the fact that you have a say in your future.
When you stop taking the easy way out.
When you take a firm stand, a stand that reflects your own aspirations; and the Lebanon you would like to see your children live in.
When fear of obliteration is a consideration if you remain silent.

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And yes you shouldn’t turn a blind eye or a deaf ear (IF you are Lebanese), when a turban wearing war crazed lunatic says out loud that he reserves the right to use ground to air missiles (which he might, and might not have) against whom he pleases, and anytime he pleases.

February 17, 2009 Posted by | Hassan Nasrallah, Kipling, Lebanon | , | 5 Comments

My shinning

Turmoil wreaking havoc in my half rotten soul. A deluge of pictures on my TV screen rekindling sad chapters of my past. One sentence comes to mind (“all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”) with a vivid memory of the elevator door opening to a pool of blood.
And I wonder why!

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I wonder why such choking pictures do not move me anymore. I can easily sit in my own comfort, watch gruesome pictures while giggling, when other spectators (watching the same movie) puked their guts out (and I am referring to the SHINING).
And I wonder why!

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Is it because I have witnessed (and still am) such atrocities first hand, that I can dismiss the redness of blood on my TV screen and still have ketchup with my fries? Or is it a masked acknowledgment of the helplessness I feel?
15 years of war, over 150,000 dead, 480,000 refugees spread over 12 camps (harboring terror), a state within a (so called) state, failed attempts to take over, AND here I am watching. Watching and still shedding tears. When on my TV screen the ketchup turns into blood. The blood of children.
30 odd years ago (not to revert back even further) YOU drew first blood with disregard to the only (Arab) nation that stood by you and was FORCED to take on your “cause”. What did you do then? Attempt to take over is what you did. You bit the hand that was feeding you.
I am not running for elections on any level, nor do I have to appease business partners; but I have a duty towards myself and towards my child whose innocence is still untouched (for the time being).
The difference is that I would not raise my child within a culture that idolizes the cult of martyrdom, engraving within their mind that their sole duty is to die for the cause (and a false one); but to live and love.

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All those who daily point their fingers in aggression pretending to have your best interest at heart (the likes of Mechaal and Hassouna), all those who refuses international mediation to end this useless bloodshed should pay with their own blood. Yes there is savagery in the war against Gazza, but there are also savage and criminal leaders who get their kicks from the massacres of their own people.
Enough with this culture of hatred (on all sides), we have “created” a new generation that has been impregnated with the seed of hatred and self destruction. What will the future hold for such nation?

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And I still wonder why !
Why is it that I hold little if no sympathy towards what has become of the Palestinian cause, from oppressed, destitute, refugee, abused…etc to blind murderess rhetoric which holds no more sway. This feeling I started having in the mid seventies, and now it is growing stronger.
Yes once again you will see me as a typical son of Zion, devil incarnate, deprived of a human soul; but I do not give a toss. I am only saying out loud what many (including Palestinians) don’t even dare murmur amongst themselves.
The MAIN responsibility of this current slaughter lies with Hamas. Having said that Israel is no angel.
Maybe my sentiments are still tainted by personal experience with the PLO, Fatah, Saika, Jibhat al Tahrir…etc; they won’t make my words more acceptable to many; but once again I DO NOT GIVE A TOSS. I am sick and tired of all this violence, although now relatively far, but who is to say that Lebanon will not once again be dragged into yet another war that started with Palestinian hands.

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January 11, 2009 Posted by | Hassan Nasrallah, Isarel, Palestinians, PLO, Politics, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

A far fetched dream (or nightmare)!

Having recently been a witness to the (shameful) parade organized by the Hizb (and everybody else, icluding M14)in Nakoura, and the short “live” appearance by our”divine” leader in Dahiyeh; I failed (although I tried my hardest) to rejoice in he fact that another sad chapter came to it’s conclusion.
All that I could see (in my totally twisted head) was: Yellow dressed horses crapping, Hizbullah’s thugs standing tall (like the guards at Buckingham palace)waiting for Hassouna to grace us with yet another “divine speech”.
Merle Haggard came to mind the minute Hassan Nasrallah spoke. I had a vision of poppy fields (no longer masked by a row of “tourne sol”) and Hassouna dancing.
No I was not under the influence.
I wished then, that the lack of vision of all those who rejoiced, was less harmful than the cynicism in the following song (don’t ask why, it just popped into my head).

July 20, 2008 Posted by | Hassan Nasrallah, Hizbollah, Merle Haggard, Poppy fields | Leave a comment

Samir Kuntar . The return of the child killer!

Talk about freeing a murderer one year my senior has been hailed by some fellow Lebanese as yet another “Divine Victory”. Yes I am talking about the “hero” Samir Kuntar and his soon to be “shameless” release. Without a doubt our “Divine”/spiritual/ resistance/ leader will take credit for his safe return bombarding us with notions of how Samir was and still is the epitome of Hizbollah’s fight against the Zionist evil. On that ill fated day(and I do pray that it will never come) many of my fellow Lebanese (so called) will beat their chests in stupor in between speech poses delivered by the only patriotic leader (Hassouna that is).
To those FUCKS I would like to point out that Samir was never part of Hizbollah when he and 3 others (Abdel Majid Asslan, Mhanna Salim Al Muayed, Mohammad Al Abras) took it upon themselves to attack NAHARIYA in Israel in an operation they called “Nasser”. This operation was commissioned by the PLF (Palestinian Liberation Front) under the leadership of Abou Abbass (does Achille Lauro ring a bell to any one?).
After having killed a policeman who came across their way (that might be justified by some as part of a military operation) they split in two groups and the Hero to be, entered the apartment of the “Zionist” Dany Haran with intent to kill. The “soon to be hailed hero” took Dany and his daughter Einat (mother “Smadar”, other daughter “Yael” and a neighbor managed to hide) to the beach (and not for a picnic I can assure you). The “would be hero” shot Dany a close range and drowned him in the sea (to make sure he was dead, after all he is a thorough person) in front of his daughter (4 years of age, may I remind you), and then turned his rage (sorry Divine mission) against the child. He then started bashing her head with the butt of his riffle, and when need be using rocks to finish her off. This “so called hero” did not flinch.

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The other tragedy is that while hiding, the mother (Smadar) in an attempt to muffle the sounds and moans of her 2 years old daughter (Yael) had suffocated her own child.
To cut a long story short, the only survivors of this “heroic adventures” (from the LEBANESE side) were Kuntar and his fellow “1/2 hero” Ahmad Al Abrass, who was later freed by Israel in the Ahmad Jibril prisoner exchange of May 1985.
Attempts were made by the PLF to free Kuntar when they hijacked the Achille Lauro where a wheel chair bound “Zionist” (Leon Klinghoffer) was murdered with no avail.
“The LEBANESE hero” Samir has admitted the murder of Dany and, yes wait for it, Einat; and was sentenced to spent the rest of his life in jail. Some “Zionists” even asked for the death penalty to be reinstated in this case.
Rumor has it that “Kuntar”, the Hezb newfound hero, will be released by the end of the month in exchange for the 2 (Goldwasser and Regev) DEAD soldiers that our Divine protector (Hasouna that is) took in 2006 causing the destruction of MY country.
How can any HUMAN rejoice and embrace the return of a cold blooded criminal and give him a hero’s welcome?
If ever Kuntar will be freed and delivered to the Lebanese (not the Hizb) authority, he should be tied for having killed an innocent child, and such a crime in Lebanon (the one I know) holds the death penalty.
To those who will rejoice for the return of such an evil incarnate, I say TFEH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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June 17, 2008 Posted by | Abou Abass, Achille Lauro, Dany Haran, Death Penalty, Einat Haran, Hassan Nasrallah, Israel, Lebanon, Leon Klinghoffer, Palestinian Liberation Front, Samir Kuntar, Yael Haran | 19 Comments

Hassouna V/S Buffalo Springfield

May 17, 2008 Posted by | Baffalo Springfield, Hassan Nasrallah, Lebanon, Music, War | 2 Comments