Lebanese Jester

Me, my Lebanon, and I.com weblog

Hey there Nasrallah (don’t go there again).

In view of the current situation and the local political speeches; I do not want to relate to the enclosed video again. Although the newer version might differ a bit (and I do hope that it will no see the day) I still shiver at the thought that some demented half witted fanatic might drag us (once again) into ye another “divine” battle.

Yes I am for right of EVERY child to live his childhood and formative years away from struggle and strife. The right to live in a secure environment, and be given a PROPER education. To have the basic necessities of food and shelter, without having to beg for them. No one has the right to raise an entire generation in the spirit of war and false dogma. NO one has the right to look upon an entire generation as foot soldiers. No one has the right to dispense with the blood of the young for political gains. No one has the right to put a rifle or even a stone in a hand of a child.

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Instead of being protectors of our children, we have become the butchers; and in the name of what? Resistance, pride, honour, freedom, patriotism…etc. All foreign notions to the entire Arab “umma”.

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Ya 3arab, your policies of hatred and division have put your very existence in peril throughout your cursed history. Fanaticism is spreading and tolerance is wearing thin and your children are paying the price. Reach deep within your souls for you might unite and might find ANOTHER more effective and PEACEFUL way to live free and away of hatred.

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You can call me by any demeaning name you might see fit; from Zionist to Hitler I do not care. I believe in mankind and the INNOCENCE of children. But I do believe in the highest crime of all, that of indoctrinating young minds.

This above video is not only intended to the IDF, but to all those who raise their kids in HATRED be it in Palestine, Lebanon, Iraq, Iran, Pakistan…etc. KHALAS !!! just let our children play in peace !

TFEH !

January 2, 2009 Posted by | Hizbollah, Nasrallah, Palestinian Liberation Front, Plain white t's | | 15 Comments

Died in vain part "I"

Tensions are running high lately and our nation’s future never looked gloomier. Speculation, analysis and even wishful thinking are polluting the blogosphere which I frequent daily. A new breed of even more FUCKED UP Lebanese has emerged and is utilizing the technology, we (children of the 60’s) never had in order to, not only foresee the future; but to make our martyrs roll over in their graves.
Walid Jumblatt’s latest (but not last) 180 degree turn, Michel Suleiman call for all nations to extend the arm of friendship towards our sister in the north, and the latest army helicopter mishap; made my blood boil once again. That very same blood that I am more than willing to shed once again in order to ensure freedom and PRIDE for my son within the 10452 Km2 that was once this great nation of ours.
The events are too numerous to count (but if I find the time), I will remind you of them, even in small parts. Therefore I will start with the following LOCAL historical facts (with no analysis and opinions) in the hope that I will have the stamina, time and courage, to see it through the end.
Unfortunately there is no end, as we are still encountering the remaining of a war that did not end (la ghaleb wa la maghloub). So bare with me, my devoted (few readers) for this is nothing but the first part of many.
Here we go counting the dead:
1975.
13th April : Bus incident Ain Al Roummaneh, Kataeb V/S PLO (from Tal Al Zaatar) 31 dead.
20th May: Dekwaneh, Kataeb V/S PLO, 24 dead.
27th October: Morabitoun take over Murr tower, no official accounts of dead people.
1st December: Israel attacks south of Lebanon, 111 dead.
And this is only a few months within the start of the civil war.
The following posts will depict my own recollection of 15 years of USELESS MURDER, one year after the other. But be aware that the conclusion will not fall short of a call to arms and total refusal to bow down to the present power. The power of the Hizb and all that it entails. Today I am no longer a pacifist, nor am I a bystander who is willing to look upon veiled women with a smile upon his face.
Today (once again) I declare my own (Lebanese) “Jihad”.

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August 29, 2008 Posted by | Hizbollah, Israel, Jihad, Lebanon, Mourabitoun, PLO, Syria, Walid Jumblat | 10 Comments

The Future

Not in the best of moods once again; so I gave the jester in me the night off and replaced him with the prophet of doom. I guess that frequenting almost daily blogs dealing with Lebanese politics is hazardous to one’s mental health.
Living in Lebanon can be hazardous as a friend of mine, David, discovered lately.
No matter how hard I try to hold on to optimism and sanity, the forces of LOCAL evil always find a way of dragging me down. I had decided lately not to watch the local news in order to bring back a false sense of well being, but found myself drawn back into this cesspool of hatred that is the main ingredient in Lebanese daily life. I thought I was over David’s encounter with “Divine” Lebanese terror when I saw him with Nat and the kids all healthy; until by mistake, I watched an array of more bearded men giving me a clear view of what the future might hold. As if the understanding between Yellow and Orange was not troubling enough, a bunch of Salafists (if the terminology is correct) extremists joined in the club of those narrow sighted bigots.
So I switched off the TV and decided to listen to some music. How appropriate it was that the first song on I heard was the Future by Leonard Cohen (An artist that is banned in Lebanon for being Jewish).
At the risk of being labeled once again a “3amil” I will share with the few readers I have the lyrics and the song, which I dedicate to all the peace loving people who are as disillusioned as I am.

“ Give me back my broken night
my mirrored room, my secret life
it’s lonely here,
there’s no one left to torture
Give me absolute control
over every living soul
And lie beside me, baby,
that’s an order!
Give me crack and anal sex
Take the only tree that’s left
and stuff it up the hole
in your culture
Give me back the Berlin wall
give me Stalin and St Paul
I’ve seen the future, brother:
it is murder.
Things are going to slide, slide in all directions
Won’t be nothing
Nothing you can measure anymore
The blizzard, the blizzard of the world
has crossed the threshold
and it has overturned
the order of the soul
When they said REPENT REPENT
I wonder what they meant
When they said REPENT REPENT
I wonder what they meant
When they said REPENT REPENT
I wonder what they meant.
You don’t know me from the wind
you never will, you never did
I’m the little jew
who wrote the Bible
I’ve seen the nations rise and fall
I’ve heard their stories, heard them all
but love’s the only engine of survival
Your servant here, he has been told
to say it clear, to say it cold:
It’s over, it ain’t going
any further
And now the wheels of heaven stop
you feel the devil’s riding crop
Get ready for the future:
it is murder.
Things are going to slide …
There’ll be the breaking of the ancient
western code
Your private life will suddenly explode
There’ll be phantoms
There’ll be fires on the road
and the white man dancing
You’ll see a woman
hanging upside down
her features covered by her fallen gown
and all the lousy little poets
coming round
tryin’ to sound like Charlie Manson
and the white man dancin’.
Give me back the Berlin wall
Give me Stalin and St Paul
Give me Christ
or give me Hiroshima
Destroy another fetus now
We don’t like children anyhow
I’ve seen the future, baby:
it is murder.
Things are going to slide …
When they said REPENT REPENT .”

If only this song was not written and sung by Leonard Cohen, maybe then my fellow Lebanese would get the true meaning !
TFEH!

August 18, 2008 Posted by | Hizbollah, Leaonard Cohen, Lebanon, Music, Salafi, Terrorism | 8 Comments

Ă bon entendeur salut !

Je ne vais pas mâcher mes mots, à bon entendeur salut !
Regardless of politics and the latest bilateral talks with our sisterly neighbour; I would like tonight to rant about MY own perception of Lebanon. Lebanon my country of origin, the Lebanon I once vowed to protect, the Lebanon I believed in.
In the mid seventies, hell broke loose and many Lebanese took up arms. Each and everyone fought for what they thought was the Lebanese cause by “excellence”. Allegiances were made, broken, replaced; while Lebanese shed their blood (in vain). Hundreds of ceasefires were agreed upon, but never respected; hatred grew stronger. The Palestinians turned from refugees to main instigators of death and destruction in their vain attempt to create a state within a state (the Kissinger plan), the Syrian army switched from a member of an Arab Peace Keeping force into an invader. Even Somalia (via its mercenaries, thanks to the Iztaz and Amal) became a source death. Our neighbour in the south, one moonless night decided to join in the bloodiest show of force. Some (Lebanese) did see in the southerly incursion a way towards salvation and the establishment of their own vision of Lebanon.
But this is war, one might say; all is allowed.
All is allowed. Even snipers on roof tops being paid by the kill. People being tied to car bumpers (alive) and being dragged down the street until dead. People having their throats cut with a Boucher knife from ear to ear for belonging to a different sect. Entire villages and towns massacred…etc.
Remember those days my fellow Lebanese; but also remember those who sponsored such terror (both local and foreign). Those are the same people whom today claim to have your best interest at heart.
Guns, canons, mortars, ammunitions, shells, tanks, and hefty banker’s checks were given to us graciously by those who today claim to have our best interest at heart, and yes I am repeating myself.
10 years within our civil war, all conflicting parties knew that an absolute win was nothing else than a pipe dream. This fact did not stop them from further pushing Lebanon into the abyss.
Our neighbor from the north waved its magical wand and the war stopped (invasion of Kuwait, Desert Storm, American foreign policy, Syria being the last Arab country to give its OK, Michel Aoun in the French embassy in pajamas…etc) and we became a satellite state for an oppressive neighborly regime. Meanwhile the biggest threat to Lebanon was growing stronger; Hizbullah was enjoying a free reign.
From endless months of camping paralyzing down town Beirut and causing many business to close, to yet another divine victory when a child killer was freed; this cancer was further injected into the few remaining healthy limbs of our country.
Wake up people of this once great nation, for M14’ers have sold out and Hizbollah has officially taken over. Do not expect much from the upcoming elections, Syria’s influence is once again predominant.

Lancelot

August 16, 2008 Posted by | Beirut, Hizbollah, Israel, Kissinger, Kuwait, Lebanon, Michel Aoun, Palestinians, Politics, Syria | Leave a comment

Hallelujah !

Oh happy day, for those murderous crooks we call politicians took turn late tonight, reassuring us (retarded inhabitants of a country called Lebanon) that they have finally reached an agreement as to the long awaited ministerial statement.
Hallelujah !
The long awaited couple of pages filled with dribble and crap is about to be made public, for all of us (stupid idiots) to analyze and argue over.
What will follow is and endless stream of opinions and ill founded studies as to what this statement (when adopted by the cabinet, or shall I say” kabbineh”) actually means.
All parties are victorious. All parties have registered their own reservations in order to save face and not admit that they have been outsmarted by the greatest evil this land of ours (and of many others for what it seems) , has encountered throughout its long history. Nitpicking over a few words written in the language of imagery and vagueness by excellence, will never dispute the fact that EVIL has won yet another battle. And by evil I specifically point my finger (and the middle one)towards Hizbullah.
As I am writing this text, the “ministerial statement” is not out yet; but I wouldn’t hold my breath, for I know for sure (and I am willing to bet my life) that it will fall short of every single iota of what we once called the Cedar Revolution.
Most of, if not the majority of those morons we call Lebanese will actually believe that “national unity” is now at hand.
Wake up you deranged, amnesiac, selfish, cowardly bastards and realize that the mere mention of the “MOUKAWAMEH” is a capitulation.
An advertisement should be placed in the “al wassit”, reading :
“A country is seeking patriots from all ages. Applicants should have a sense of pride and dignity, firm belief in the history of the motherland, willing to work long and hard hours for the benefits in the long term are well worth it. Syrians and Iranians need not apply.”

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August 1, 2008 Posted by | Hizbollah, Lebanon, Ministerial Statement, Moukawameh | 3 Comments

He is heavy, he is not my brother !

God only knows how hard I have tried to brush away the scarce fanatical dust particles I had on my shoulders when I was growing up within my non-political, non-fanatical family. When the war broke out in the seventies I always refused to surrender to demarcation lines (at the expense of my own well being) and new found notions of different class systems based on religion. Admittedly I was never, what the church could label a true Christian, for I was always brought up to believe in God the benevolent and in the goodness of man. In 1984 and after a few bad experiences and mistakes; I decided to look for greener pastures. Overnight I left family and loved ones, took a plane to England (how green and damp can you get?) were I spent 16 years. I thought, upon my return that my tolerance, my acceptance of others had grown stronger; I thought that I was part of this new generation that constitutes the salvation of this holly land of ours. I started looking for those who, at a time left seeking enrichment and now are back; in order to feel a sense of belonging and possibly make a difference. I found none.
I was alone.
10 years later, I came to understand.
I came to understand that I cannot call a brother he who denies his roots. I left before the Hizbullah’s phenomenon (and I thank my lucky stars for that, for if I had I would not be writing today) showed its ugly face. Do not misunderstand me, I am not naive, for I have seen what ‘’Fath’’. Sa3ika’’, ‘’Jibhat Al rafed’’, ‘’Mourabitoun’’,’’Amal’’,’’Mortazaka’’,’’Kataeb’’…etc did during 9 nightmarish years I lived before my self inflicted exile.
I came back filled with hope and aspirations, not only for me, but for my son and my country as well. Sad to say that I regard my return from my safe heaven (England) as the biggest mistake I ever did. A mistake bigger than when I took up arms thinking (falsely) that it was my duty as a Lebanese.
I am the proud son of the south (although Christian on my Lebanese ID card, but Lebanese at heart), I still cannot (and never will) relate to the Hizb’s propaganda. For the south was always mine (as a Lebanese), for I have shared the hardships and the neglect from all governments past and present, for I have never sold out my Lebanese identity; and those who follow the Hizb have.
To those veil, sandal, beard, turban wearing sold out fucks I dedicate the following song.

To those fucks I say : ‘’Yes you are heavy, and you are no brother of mine’’

July 28, 2008 Posted by | Hizbollah, Lebanon, Music, The Hollies | 4 Comments

A far fetched dream (or nightmare)!

Having recently been a witness to the (shameful) parade organized by the Hizb (and everybody else, icluding M14)in Nakoura, and the short “live” appearance by our”divine” leader in Dahiyeh; I failed (although I tried my hardest) to rejoice in he fact that another sad chapter came to it’s conclusion.
All that I could see (in my totally twisted head) was: Yellow dressed horses crapping, Hizbullah’s thugs standing tall (like the guards at Buckingham palace)waiting for Hassouna to grace us with yet another “divine speech”.
Merle Haggard came to mind the minute Hassan Nasrallah spoke. I had a vision of poppy fields (no longer masked by a row of “tourne sol”) and Hassouna dancing.
No I was not under the influence.
I wished then, that the lack of vision of all those who rejoiced, was less harmful than the cynicism in the following song (don’t ask why, it just popped into my head).

July 20, 2008 Posted by | Hassan Nasrallah, Hizbollah, Merle Haggard, Poppy fields | Leave a comment

R.I.P Lebanon 1943-2008.

The past ten days were hell (for personal reasons). I felt so angry on so many levels; I even questioned God and his wisdom. As I was getting closure and trying to revert back to normal life; I was slapped with yet a greater evil than death; the evil of those who inflict death. “Samir Al Kuntar”.
Being incapacitated (due to a minor motorbike incident) I spent the afternoon glued to my TV set watching the shameful parade being broadcasted on many local and Arab TV stations. A child killer was given a hero’s welcome, and Lebanon (my country) has once more shown to the CIVILIZED world that it was nothing more than 10452 Km2 of scum. “al silah zinat al rijal” I heard uttered from the mouth of our “divine leader”. Emile (in all his glory) was drooling (or smiling, I could never tell the difference). Suleiman, Saniora and Berri were anxiously waiting at “Hariri’s” airport the return of their prodigal son, even Georges Adwan took part in this shameful celebration. A few hours earlier we had the privilege of seeing our newly elected government members (all dressed in white) parade at the Baabda palace for the inaugural picture. Maybe they should have waited a few hours so that Kuntar could join. After hearing his speech (in well spoken Arabic) it would not have surprised me.
Hizbollah has won, and has taken over MY country.
A battalion of “moukawimin” in full army gear was a cruel reminder that 120000 (accounted for) martyrs have died in vain.
Saad Hariri’s stupid smile (and his goatee) is another clear sign of defeat.
George Adwan’s presence at the “festivities” is a clear picture of whose (tied arse) you should lick in fear.
Walid Jumblat’s (but not Ghazi Al Aaridi, his lackey) absence (today, but not tomorrow) is an indication of whom is dictating the future of MY country.
Michel Aoun (the demented general) I don’t even need to comment !
Nasser Kandil was the epitome of days supposedly gone (but not forgotten).
Last but not least, Olmert , for having plunged Lebanon (once again) deep into the abyss.
Full honours were deployed, even the presidential “helicopter” since we cannot afford an “air force one”; only to see that the Lebanese government (with all its institutions) was over shadowed by the Hizb’s military machine (even a cavalry).
Kiss ikhtkoun killkoun (politicians that is), starting with the LF and ending with Ali Kanso in his white safari suite.
Mr. Chamoun was the only voice of reason today, for he has said what (I hope) many of us feel.
I am Lebanese with a dual nationality (second being British) , and today I feel ashamed of my citizenship of birth.

Today, I feel the pain and the disappointment of the Haran family. Moreover I cry for all those who died (Lebanese) during the 15 years of civil war for their (at times twisted) notion of a free Lebanon.
Fuck you all who rejoiced today.I am Lebanese, and you are NOT !
Bite me!

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July 16, 2008 Posted by | Hizbollah, Israel, Lebanon, Michel Suleiman, Samir Kuntar | 10 Comments

A long ,not so very long time ago

May 17, 2008 Posted by | Amal, Bashir Gemayel, Fath, Hizbollah, Lebanese Forces, Lebanon, PLO, Sabra and Chatila, War | Leave a comment

Hizbollah, evil incarnate!

I will spare you a detailed account of what took place today for it is widely available on the internet, and most of you have been glued to your TV sets; therefore are in no need of a reminder.
A wide array of analysis and predictions were offered for you to pick whatever tickled your fancy.
Regardless of so called facts aired or written, no one can dispute the fact that Lebanon is being taken over by what was once praised as the Divine protector against the ultimate evil that is known as the state of Israel.
Many of times did I state that Hassounah and his thugs have one agenda and one only; that of imposing their own vision of Lebanon.
Can any of you, after today, still have a shadow of the doubt?
Hezb

Roads are closed, tires are burnt, threats are made, people are held hostage at the airport, Iranians are flying in, new tents are being erected…etc.
And the army does nothing!
Michel Suleiman (and the other Micho who called for the toppling of the government today) say nothing.
M14 in their infinite wisdom (or shall I say lack of balls) praise the appeasing role of the army in such a volatile situation. Shots have been fired, B7 rockets were used, stones were hurled (even at army personnel), citizens were stranded, roads blocked (for no valid reason); and still our men in green watched.
Can you still seriously wonder why the Lebanese people are rushing to buy arms?
It is about time my fellow Lebanese to “call a spade a spade”, enough with the talk of one sect (and one only) that has been ignored by past governments, one area (the south) left to rot. Poverty is no stranger to the 18 (19 if we still recognize the Lebanese Jews) communities that are part of this nation of ours.
This very same community pretending to be marginalized, used and abused; is not only better off (thanks to foreign aid, “al mal al halal”) but has sold its Lebanese identity to foreign powers (Iran). This community by doing so has revoked its Lebanese identity, therefore its rights.
I, unlike others, will not hide behind my little finger and still claim that I am willing to negotiate with the likes of Hizbollah and those who follow them; for they have renounced their Lebanese identity.

I call upon my people to revolt and fight this cancerous cell even at the risk of having to amputate!

For those of you who might think it extreme I say : “bite me”.
Lancelot

May 7, 2008 Posted by | Aoun, Hizbollah, Hostages, Iran, Israel, Lebanon | 5 Comments