Lebanese Jester

Me, my Lebanon, and I.com weblog

Fuck me gently.

Fuck me gently; for I fail to understand why, as a TRUE LEBANESE (a dying breed) still cannot comprehend:
1) Why the STL is a Zionist entity (according to SOME) without any concrete proof.
2) Why Wi’am Wahab is still allowed to profess publicly  the return of Syrian tanks (and being proud of it) into Lebanese territory in order (according to him) prevent civil strife.
3) Why a few days before the commemoration of Sabra and Chatilla did Sami Gemayel deemed it fit to recall the collaboration with Israel.
4) Why did Goatee Saad El Dine “vainly” attempted to exonerate the Syrian regime from all the political assassinations which took place, at least since 2005.
5) Why this sudden urge on the behalf of Americans and Israeli diplomats to include Syria (and maybe Lebanon) in the peace talks with Israel.
6) Why the hint of the willingness to withdraw from the Golan Heights in return for peace talks.
7) Why the local threat (from the representatives of our “divine” protector’s spokes people) of uprising by the end of September, if the STL was not abandoned by the government.
8) Why was Jamil Al Sayyed is allowed to dish out so much “unfounded” accusations on many local TV stations.
9) Why Michel Aoun (who is part of the government) can go on TV and call for civil disobedience.
The above is nothing but a few questions any TRUE LEBANESE should ask himself; but it doesn’t stop there.
A) Nadim Gemayel went on to assert his conviction that all the killings which took place during the Syrian hegemony are directly related to the Syrian Baathist regime. Some might argue that his speech emanated from a deep rooted feeling that it was about time he reclaimed his father’s (Sheikh Bashir) legacy that might have been shadowed by the fiery speeches of his cousin Sami, maybe, rightly so. For any Lebanese (and not only Christian) who believed in Bashir’s ideology, they were (to say the least) disappointed by the way Amin (his brother) pretended to keep his ideology alive. Never forget that Amin at the end of his presidential term created the vacuum, whereby appointing Michel Aoun head of the transitional government. Once Amin sat on the “cursed” presidential chair, the Kataeb began its downward spiral. From Hajj to Pakradouni to Amin’s exile to France (not that he was suffering), to the Kataeb we know today. Pierre the founder is long dead, and so is Pierre the grandson (May God rest his soul, and not because I adhere to the Kataeb); but the kataeb we know today is far from Bashir’s Kataeb. Sami can never rekindle the light of his uncle, he does not have the charisma, nor does he have the deep rooted convictions. Nadim on the other (after his last speech) hand might be on the right track.
B) Jamil El Sayyed rantings about the STL, Said Mirza, False witnesses…etc; even if they were all true allegations; can any Lebanese forget the crimes this Syrian puppet perpetrated against fellow Lebanese? Did we forget how the ISF (under his directorate and the cover of Adnan Addoum) use to dismantle demonstrations calling for freedom, independence, sovereignty, and territorial integrity (and this is a reminder to Michel Aoun)?
C) Who the Fuck is Wi’am Wahab and how many Druze does he represent? Where does he come from to be able to go on every single local TV station dishing out his threats against the government and politicians  and getting away with it? Why is it, NOW allowed to air such detrimental speeches to “al wifak al watani”, and not long ago MTV was shut down?
D) Why is it that Syria (our sister state) never lifted a finger when we were under attack and still claims that it has our best interest at heart (tawhid al massareyn). Not one single rocket was ever fired into Israel (our “only” enemy) from Syrian territories; but Syria does have pawns in Lebanon (such as Ahmad Gebril) to do its dirty work.
E) Why is America so eager to send envoys to Lebanon and Syria (and especially Syria) at the “re-start” of the Israeli-Palestinian peace talks? Who do you think will be higher on the US priority table (as an ally against an eventual Iranian strike) Lebanon or Syria?
F) This letter should stand for FUCK you Lebanese Christians (especially those who follow Michel Aoun), if you think the next “CIVIL” war (and I think it is on our doorsteps) will be Sunni against Shiaa; you are right in the middle.
Have you noticed that for once I did not mention nor bash Hizbollah? I don’t need to; Michel Aoun (Hizbollah’s proxy) has made sure to alienate all hope of a free and independent Lebanon.

N.B: No, I will not let you fuck me gently. For, like the Palestinians thought in the mid 70’s that they could take over MY land; Syria will never return and we (TRUE LEBANESE) will never be part of Walayat Al Fakih. And this is the true meaning of “MOUKAWAMEH”.


September 17, 2010 Posted by | Politics, STL | , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I am a “Moukawem”.

Thank you Hassouna, for yet another enlightened/divine speech. Tonight your moderate tone finally convinced me of your righteousness. Yes you are our supreme leader; nazih and charif.
Mea culpa for having doubted your patriotic drive and the selfishness, no other local politician ever showed me (including those who lost their lives).
Your magnanimous words with regards to the families of those newly found spies, and how they should not be labeled and singled out (especially the “daughters”); made me not pay much attention to the fact that you called for their quick execution (if only I could post on youtube a British documentary that was made by NTV entertainment in 1995 about the savagery of executions and the death penalty which shows in its last couple of minutes how your party executed (without a trial) an alleged 3amil in front of his mother). Apart from your “relatively” calm tone of voice (and with no finger waving for a change) your female audience was showing hair. Could this be the dawn of a new “infitah” era? I must say I was impressed. More so (and not dwell in the pile of empty rhetoric and non founded justification to your divine message) when you suggested that the government should seek (after having agreed to the extensive shopping list for the LAF) during Dr. Ahmadinejad’s (the protector of all human rights) upcoming visit to Lebanon to extend its begging hand, and seek (the more than willing) Iranian’s help (of course with no strings attached, but only for the love it has for their brother Lebanese) in order to provide the LAF with the needed weapons, ie: missiles, armor piercing rockets…etc
Ya sayyed Hassan, why not at the same time, since the Iranians are so eager to help us (for free, and no strings attached) not ask for submarines, fighter planes and any other “offensive” weaponry they have in their arsenal.
In all fairness you did start, ya Hassouna, this segment of your speech by including all Arab countries and asking them to relinquish part of their military arsenal which is being stockpiled, and about to become obsolete; for better use in Lebanon (the only country who is on the frontline with our only and arch enemy Israel). I guess the answer to that is “Beggars can be choosers”.
But what really swayed me to your side, and made me wish I was a “moukawem”; was when you suggested that we should start investing in NUCLEAR power in order to resolve our electricity crisis (for peaceful purposes), just like Iran is doing. I especially appreciated the fact that you did say that you did not have exact figures, but… that it would be much cheaper than trying to resolve the crisis whilst relying on fossil fuel. Yes Hassouna, now is the time to tell the international community that this tiny country of ours (maybe yours) is about to follow on the footsteps of the country of your sponsors/masters, plagued by international sanctions. Yalla, why not. Ask Ahmedinajad to provide us with enriched uranium (for peaceful purposes that is) and the North Korean to help us build (for free) power plants. Why not, let us all together witness the effect of internationally imposed sanctions on 4.5 million people of whom the majority can hardly make ends meet (mainly those who are not sponsored by Iranian money).
Hassouna, you are a great man; for throughout your televised speech there was no mention of the deadly clashes that were taking place tonight in Beirut involving your men. Yes your cause is greater than to reflect on a few rockets that were fired amongst your people and your foes which caused people to reminisce about civil strife. It’s all good, and the “moukawameh” is greater than any individual.
Just like you said the rumors of indictments of unruly members of Hizbullah makes you laugh, for according to you those are only part of the followers and not “cadre” of you divine party. And to that I say: “How far will your jaw drop if Mughnieh is even mentioned in the STL probe”?. I guess Moughnieh was nothing more than a blind follower.

Hassouna, after your latest speech (and I don’t think I will bother with any future ones) I have decided to join the “Moukawameh”; not yours, but the true “moukawameh”; that with a sole purpose to kick your arse (and those who believe in you) out of my home. And my home is LEBANON.

August 25, 2010 Posted by | Nuclear, Politics | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Proud to be Lebanese???

اذا بتحب لبنان ؛ حبّ صناعتو!

What is there to love inصناعتو lately I ask?
Should I be proud of the proposed internet law; that is a blatant infringement on human rights?
Should I be proud of the fact that I pay more money than any third world country for telecommunication services (and not even getting a decent service in comparison)?
Should I be proud when President Suleiman, not only commented on the “defamation” issue on facebook, but gave it his approval?
Should I be proud, when in the words of our esteemed minister of tourism, who tonight went on OTV and argued his plans for making Lebanon the tourist hub; omitted the fact that he has done his best to close down Gemmayze?
Should I be proud of the fact that, on any given occasion like the world cup, Lebanese fire their weapons in the air causing death and go unpunished?
Should I be proud when I see Iran giving up on their freedom flotilla to Gaza, and we try to go ahead with ours?
Should I be proud that we are now finally talking about Palestinian’s civil rights, knowing damn well that Lebanese from different sects are not for it?
Should I be proud that Lebanon is the safe harbor for all sorts of Arab terrorists (mainly within the Palestinian camps) and are being used for sectarian purposes?
Should I be proud that the Cedar revolution fell short of ALL its promises, and we the people still follow blindly?
Or should I be proud of the fact that Hizbollah has hijacked MY country and still we don’t revolt?

Yes I am a proud Lebanese, regardless. I am proud of the Lebanon I once knew (with all its shortcomings and God only knows how great they were). Today I am not proud of his صناعتو , for it has led me to the Doha agreement and the total control of one group which does not have one iota of Lebanese patriotism. As a Lebanese, I feel that NO one represents me and that the worst is yet to come. The Cedar revolution has failed its followers; and those followers have failed Lebanon. Wake up and smell the cyanide my fellow Lebanese; for no one is going to grant you your rights for free. If ever you want to reclaim this land of milk and honey, you have to act; call a spade a spade and be willing to bear the consequences. No one can, or should be able to silence your voices and your quest for freedom. ASSUME, for you have a duty, if not towards yourselves, then towards your children and this future generation.


July 1, 2010 Posted by | Lebanon | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

St Valentine, or M14’s fallacy ?

Not only have we invented the “ourjouwan” color or the alphabet; but we Lebanese are pioneers in many fields. No wonder we are proud people (and so rightly so), Lebanon was mentioned 71 times in the Bible; and if Belinda Carlisle knew Lebanon, her song “heaven is a place on earth” would not have been written as a love song, but as a tribute to our country.
We (Lebanese) are direct descendants of God (ou meme la cuisse de Jupiter, depending on your religious beliefs). Lebanon is the true Garden of Eden, where it all began, and where it will all end. The notion some have that the Jews are the chosen people is nothing but a fallacy, a few millimeters on a geographical map, shy from the truth. We are the chosen ones!
Today we Lebanese have once again demonstrated to the entire world (and maybe the universe) that we are true pioneers; pioneers in having taken the art of absurdity, no worthiness, sold out bunch of ingrate selfish bastards, mindless “sheeple”, brainwashed pretentious narguilleh smoking selfish lazy wannabees arses.
The sight of goatee Saudi Saad waving his hand in salute as if he was the queen of England (and a queen he might as well be) grabbing Walid beik by the waist (obviously against his will) made sick to my stomach. The songs playing in the background and the festive mood on what should have been a grim reminder of our bloody (recent past) made my blood boil.
And they (M14) have the audacity to talk about their achievements in the past 5 years. The Cedar Revolution is dead! It officially died after the June elections when promises were broken one after the other. The Cedar Revolution was never the sole proprietorship of any political party, it was a movement from the people and TO the people, entrusted then (wrongly) to the current leadership. Today another nail (if not the final one) was put on its coffin.
Today, I and the entire world, witnessed the shrinking of your (M14) power base; and in a couple of days from now the entire world will witness the ever constant (if not growing) power of Hizbullah (the commemoration of their martyrs). And yet THE supreme leader of M14 (goatee Saad) deemed it fit to announce to the world (not very long ago) that the government will stand by Hizbollah in case of a new “aggression” (even if provoked) against Israel.
If only I was allowed to (safely) attend the Hizbullah commemoration, for I have more respect towards those who even if they have an agenda that I totally refute, are true to their promises and their following.
Sad to say, I hold MUCH more respect to those I am willing to dedicate my life to fight against their vision, than to the lot of you (M14).
Come next elections, not only I will not vote for you; I will vote against you.
Long live Imad Moughnieh and may God protect Samir Kuntar !

February 15, 2010 Posted by | Lebanon, Politics | , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

When I will become a Roumieh resident.

Goatee Saad  met with the demented general. Rumor has it that the meeting was so friendly that now there is talk of an MOU between the Future movement and the FPM, similar to the MOU with Hizbollah.

Oh joyful day!

I do not pay much attention to what is written in local papers, for the fate of my country is in no way a local affair. But I know that the worst is yet to come, and I know that I will not be kept silent. So just in case I find my freedom being taking away from me (once again), this is part of the concert I would like to enjoy in the prison I will be at (not Nancy and Haifa).

October 6, 2009 Posted by | Lebanon, Music | , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments