Lebanese Jester

Me, my Lebanon, and I.com weblog

The newly found Lebanese culture !

A while back I thought that I had nothing left to say about this land of milk and honey that I haven’t repeated over and over again; I felt like I was beating a dead horse. My words on many occasions failed me, and I found myself not being able to “ink” my thoughts. The Lebanese political arena had become so boring and repetitive that I deemed it not worthy of trying to revive my brain cells in order to write any half coherent text.

Those of you who are familiar with my ranting might wonder why I kept so silent especially with regards to all the trials and tribulations our “sisterly” state in the north was witnessing. And those of you who know me well enough would understand my silence. Well tonight I will break my silence for a short lapse of time, so bare with me.

Whilst I was attempting to watch the debate with regards to the dilemma about the proposed history books, Bashir Gemayel came to mind; and those of you who know me well enough can recall endless discussion whereby I have made it clear that I was very critical of some of the means and never was someone who could follow blindly.

Going through Bashir’s old speeches on youtube I came across a video clip from a program that use to air on MTV (and thank God it is no longer). I have no idea why I actually took the time for the clip to download (thank you minister Sahnaoui for keeping your promise for fast internet), but when I actually starting watching I was shocked. Shocked to the extent that being the masochistic fool that I am, I had to watch it till the end.

If such a program can gather so much viewers than Lebanon deserves much worse than the Syrian boot, Lebanon should be burned to the ground along with all those who make such programs a success; and maybe just like the legend of the phoenix (with a slight difference) some good will rise from the ashes.

Long gone are the days of Gaston Chikhani, Jean Calude Boulos (to whom I pay tribute and may he rest in peace), Yvette Sursock, le theatre des dix heures…etc; the only culture we are witnessing today is reflective of this big brothel they made Lebanon into.

Al sha3b yourid iskat Hayfa, Maya, May…etc !

This is what I am talking about (just watch amongst the public and I will let you judge if this is appropriate viewing for an audience of that age and moreover if it should have been aired at 8.45pm.



March 6, 2012 Posted by | Personal | , , | Leave a comment

LBC 1, MTV 0

Ever since MTV was allowed to grace us once again with its “supposedly” non biased opinion, I found myself steering away from the LBC news segment. Being a fervent disciple of a free Lebanon (free of Syrian hegemony), I found hope in this TV station that was once silenced because of its ballsy attempt to just state facts. Well this “Cinderella” notion of mine did not last long.
For those who know me on a personal level, are aware that I have invested (after many years of self exile) myself in what I thought was the “rise of the phoenix”. I came back home against all odds in order to repay (or even contribute towards) my dues to this motherland. Upon my return I had my fair share of disappointments and cultural shock. But I never gave up. The struggle to justify my decision to come back is still ongoing. I was graced with a son (born in England) but from Lebanese decent. I have tried to instill within his very young soul the love of the motherland. I have showed him the scares that were inflicted upon me during the 15 years of civil war; and tried to inculcate within his virgin soul the morals that were ripped from me when I was his age.
Yes I am blabbering and trying to find a way or a “preanbule” to the text that will follow. I am man who decided to uproot a child from the safety of civil society which could have provided him with all the basic necessities and the respect owned, and “dumped” him amongst people who would sell their own mothers for a fistful of dollars. Mea culpa.
I, like many others in this Biblical land came to acknowledge that in order to secure a (relatively) bright future to our sons, could not rely on a simple white collar job. So I invested my hard earned savings in the ONLY segment in the motherland that seemed to be striving, and could yield a high rate of return. I invested in Gemmayzeh. One building over two floors, and I (and my partners alike) decided to make do with “wasta” and be the first to engage in business the “proper” way. Well needless to say we were FUCKED left right and center by Lebanese bureaucracy. Still we bite our lip and make do with the situation at hand. The project went over budget while waiting for the proper licenses even after greasing the “paws” of one too many politicians and government officials.
Then we thought we had it made, not because of monies paid and free dinners, but for we thought we had finally fulfilled all the perquisite regulations which would entitle us to engage in business legally.
So I thought (wrongly it seems) that I was working towards leaving some sort of legacy to my son (and so did those I have convinced to invest in my project) knowing that after graduating from college (if ever he could find a job locally) his salary will not suffice to rent him a room in a half decent place within this 10452Km2.
My plans (and my far-fetched worries) did not include (even in my wildest dreams) what is taking place today. Today I have came to the bitter conclusion that my fellow Lebanese deserve to rot in hell. I, as a non practicing, but raised Christian could not believe nor comprehend the amount of selfishness and hatred that was blurted by some of the people who participated in the “Kalam al nass” program.
Before I go any further I have to pay tribute to Marcel Ghanem for having shown (to my utter surprise) a true journalistic integrity in comparison to that constipated MTV presenter Abou Nader Al Hindi who thinks that the sun only shines out of her own wrinkled arse (maybe for carrying somehow in a shy way her husband’s name). During his program Mr. Ghanem tried his best to show both sides of the story, and yes I am representative of one of one those sides having invested (along with my partners) over a million dollars. Needless to say that we have met with the residents of Gemmayzeh (on many occasions); the same people who rented us spaces then not fit to be used for stables, not for horses, but for donkeys at exorbitant prices, knowing damn well what our intentions were; and then they had no reservations upon contract signature. Miss, Ms, or Mrs Fadia Kiwan found it fit to organize a few sit ins, along with Pilipino maids (ill treated or not, I will leave it up to you), in their pajamas claiming that we are depriving her (and other “landlords”) from a goodnight sleep. Another anal retentive dickhead (I think his name was Nabil) in the midst of screaming through the microphone, pulled out a box of “Lexo” in a vain attempt to draw attention (while it was obvious that he was high on God knows what) to his alleged lack of sleep.

But most shocking of all, was our dear minister of tourism (who comes from an industrial background) and kept on claiming that in Gemmayzeh “night clubs” and “super night clubs” are the main cause of the problem. Get a grip Mr Abboud, if your inquisition is aimed at “Night Clubs” and “Super Night Clubs” maybe you should target Solidere and Maameltein, but not Gemmayezeh. Yes you said it, and I agree with you; you haven’t signed any new licenses in Gemmayazeh, but why may I ask? The answer is very simple; there are no more vacancies or places to rent and you are what I call a “pied tendre” in your newly found office. Those FUCKS you are supposedly protecting are the one and the same landlords who signed over their leases to us in the knowledge that the premises will be used not for a bookshop, a pharmacy, a corner shop..etc but for pubs, and what they are now calling “mahchachat”. If it were not for investors like me, and many others, Gemmayzeh would be like Badaro at night; a ghost town.
Minister of tourism my Arse Mr. Abboud, you are nothing by a reflection of the demented General you follow and whom is driving us into Hizbollahstan at a pace faster than the speed of light. I dare you to go to Hamra and some of the “residential perpendicular” streets and issue warrants of closing. Wlek TFEH 3alek wa 3ala m3almak!.

Close down Gemmayzeh you “moronic” minister of tourism. I just wish that all those concerned will reopen in Rabieh and let your demented general enjoy a goodnight sleep. Maybe then he will move to another location and actually have to pay rent!!!

Like I have said it before “do not bite the hand that feed you”, but this time I will add FUCK YOU you ingrate penny chasing, low life, social parasites (residents of Gemmayzeh). If I was to shove a charcoal up your arses, within less than a month I would have had diamond field.
TFEH !!!

April 2, 2010 Posted by | Politics | , , , , | 3 Comments