Lebanese Jester

Me, my Lebanon, and I.com weblog

Weep silently.

I weep silently, just like a hungry new born who has it in him not make his selfish mother feel guilty for not feeding him.

I weep silently, just like a toddler who fell down the stairs and his silent cries were ignored.

I weep silently, just like a teenager who had his heart crushed for the very first time and no one noticed your pain.

I weep silently, just like the first time you left your parental cocoon and felt lonely.

I weep silently, just like when you finally realize that “for better or for worst” is not a lifetime warranty.

I weep silently, just like when you see the one person you love the most on his death bed, and you are the only one present.

But shed rivers of tears my Lebanese son; for soon you will find yourself without the 10452km2 your ancestors shed their blood in order to call this land a permanent home.

When push comes to shove you will have to decide, either to put your life at risk for the “cause” , or to convince yourself (like I did) that now is not the right time; use your trump card (the other inherited citizenship) and take the easy way out.

In both cases, I can assure you my son that you will shed oceans of tears; and this is the curse of being born Lebanese.

N.B: You know where my stash of weapons is.

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April 21, 2011 Posted by | Tarek | , , | Leave a comment

Musical interlude, or is it?

September 25, 2010 Posted by | Music | , , , | Leave a comment

I’ve got the blues.

May 7, 2010 Posted by | Anybody seen my girl, Feels like going home, Keb Mo, The Notting Hillbillies | , | Leave a comment

Q & A

May 6, 2010 Posted by | The Notting Hillbillies, Will yo miss me | , | Leave a comment

Addressed not to one exclusively (maybe extensively), but to too many.

Even if I lately wish that the end was near and anxiously await the final curtain, I do hope for a sneak preview. Just a simple glimpse, so that I can rest in peace; and rest I am in lack of.
What if when I am drawing my last breath God gave me the luxury to be my own judge, it is a notion I have been toying with lately. This ludicrous idea did not come about out of schizophrenia nor did it emanate from a deep sense of guilt; on the contrary, this twisted state of mind stems from a complete feeling that I have tried my best to accommodate all those I HELD dear and so far never compromised. Endless efforts were made on my behalf trying to accommodate and accept, but rarely did I feel that I was met even half way. And still, regardless of this deep urge to throw everything out the window, regardless of consequences to those involved; I find myself waiting for some more.
Completely drained and disappointed. Even more, disillusioned and disgusted, to the extent that I just wish for all to let me lay down and rest. But you know damn well that this could not happen, for the final score has not been settled yet. So to some I say: let your “hired” spies feed you with the recurrent poison blinding your way. To others: let the lies you told so often become “the ultimate truth” for you have repeated them one time too many. And to some: “my giving well” has run dry, seek another.

If tonight in my sleep I draw my last breath, I know that my creator will meet me with his arms wide open. And if tomorrow I wake up and face yet another day, I solemnly promise to drastically change my ways.

Enough of this fake camaraderie and fake loyalties; no more efforts on my behalf.

Tonight I challenge the devil and reclaim back my life!

A bon entendeur, SALUT !

April 28, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | | 3 Comments

Blessed I am.

Blessed I am for I still enjoy the love of those who are dear to me. Those people who have put up with my mood swings, my very short and bad temper over the years; reminded me today how blessed I was.
below is the testimony of the one that counts the most.

birthday-card-tio1

Just in case you ask why he counts the most, here is one of many reasons.

March 25, 2009 Posted by | Tarek | , | 4 Comments