Lebanese Jester

Me, my Lebanon, and I.com weblog

My take on Syria !

30 years of blatant and murderous hegemony and not even a whisper was ever uttered from the mouth of any of our “brothers and sisters” from the north. This very same despotic regime which inflicted over a hundred thousand of deaths in this Biblical land of milk and honey went not only unpunished, but never mentioned or even held accountable for, and here I am today expected to raise my “humanitarian” voice in anger. Why were you ALL so silent when my land was being pillaged and our women being raped? At that time you deemed it acceptable that my people had dues to pay in the name of Kaymiyeh 3arabieh?
Here you are now, my “so called” brothers and sisters seeking recognition for your new found rebellion against this same regime that once wreaked mayhem amongst my people and now is killing you by the dozens, and you are asking for refuge and a safe haven within MY 10452Km2 which you fought against.

Many before you had their own plans and misconceived ideas with regards of how easily it would be to push their own agendas in a country plagued by so many conflicting and ever changing minorities seeking to keep hold of the upper hand. What you fail to comprehend is that Lebanon, since its first independence, was never a nation; for there is no such thing as a “true Lebanese”. We are (Lebanese that is) nothing more than a bunch of fanatic bigots with the biggest superiority complex ever known to man.

Yes our ancestors invented the alphabet and the “ourjouwan” colour, yes they were tradesmen by excellence; but look at our “people” now, and they are the lowest denominator when it comes to patriotism.

You might ask, aren’t I supposed to at least shed a tear for those innocent children being murdered on a daily basis by the “ba3sist” regime? My reply would ,and will always be, name one who’s eyes watered when Maya Bashir Gemayel was murdered (by mistake).

Yes in this instance I have lost the last iota of humanity I had left, and I am now longing for the day when civil war will actually brake out (and it will) within our so called “sisterly” state in hope that I will be part of this “kowait al rade3” and repay them at least 50% of the pain their government inflicted upon MY people.

If there is a God, I hope that I might live to see the day whereby the Syrian government (present or to come) will wonder for hundreds of years as to the faith of those who are rotting in Lebanese jails and will get no answer (a tooth for a tooth the Bible said, well according to me a tooth for an entire “dentier”) .

Michel Aoun and all those who are attempting to legitimize the regime’s crimes “can eat my dirty knickers” on a daily basis.
My bitterness is so great that it has extended way beyond the regime.
The blood MY people shed will never go in vain, so if my words might sound harsh and stripped of all common decency, burn me to the stake for I do not give a damn!
The day of reckoning is coming !!!

Wlek TFEH !

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March 8, 2012 Posted by | Politics | , | 2 Comments

Hassan Nasrallah, ou l’oiseau de mauvais augure!

Sad is the day when an entire (so called) nation awaited with bated breath the speech of a self proclaimed divine protector in order to have a hint, or even an inclination as to whether this long awaited summer will be calm and prosperous, … or not.

Hassouna (our self declared divine protector) a finalement mit les points sur les “I “.

According to him; we have to be grateful for the role the Syrian “despotic” regime has played throughout; not only the 15 years of war, but also the next 15 years of hegemony we Lebanese had to endure (at a price of many martyrs numbering in the tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands), for according to “our dear Divine protector” Lebanon would have ceased to exist if it wasn’t for the goodness of the Syrian heart’s regime with regards to its “sisterly state” (and still we have no border demarcation).

The only “true” (and legal, according to him) resistance is that of Hizbullah, and all the rest is nothing but puppets in the hand of the greater evil that is Netenyahu (thank God his family name does not end in a double OO and not a U; than Yahoo would also be a Zionist entity), Obama, KSA, Bahrain, France, England…and the rest of the world; save Pakistan, the Taliban, Iran ….. Bashar.

Even Mikati and Suleiman had their fare share of criticism.

Get out of Iraq and Afghanistan, he shouted whilst his hand was whipping the sweat off his forehead and trying to put back the few strains of rebellious hair which kept on creeping outside his turban. Syria (or to put it in his own words SOUYiYA) is a red line, do not attempt to stab it in the back .

According to our self proclaimed divine protector, the entire universe is wrong. Bashar is nothing short of St Rita, Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Mar Charbel, The prophet Mohammad, Hare Krishna, Tao, Winnie the poo…etc (all put together in order to create the most magnanimous entity ) and we should all rally behind him; for according to Hassouna what is taking place in SOUYIYA is all the doing of one Obama and one Netenyahu.

According to him the majority of the Syrian people are all for a living under oppression and those who died in their quest for freedom and dignity are nothing but a small percentage misguided by foreign “ill seeking” powers with their own devilish agendas (Lebanese devil worshipers included).

Hassouna, our Divine protector after having sweat profusely, promised us yet another more spectacular victory.
The only question that springs to my mind is : “at what cost?”

Wlek tfeh ya Hassan, go back to that same rock you crawled out of.

The only people who are still applauding your speeches are not Lebanese. And when Bashar will fall flat on his face (within time I admit) and gets shafted (with no Vaseline), the only recourse you and your “sheeple”will have, is to seek refuge in the land of “Wilayat Al Faqih”, but only if (and a big IF that is) then such a land and outdated notion still exists. Remember Neda, she is nothing but the beginning!

May 26, 2011 Posted by | Lebanon | , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Syrian Karma

* For over 30 years we have endured what you are JUST beginning to endure.
* For over 30 years the world stood silent towards the blatant abuse your regime is now inflicting upon you (after many years of practice).
* For over 30 years my country was run to the ground so that the same murderous family could keeps its power and insures its survival.
* For over 30 years fear prevailed, violently silencing the strongest of opposition voices.
* For over 30 years mothers wept (and many are still weeping) awaiting closure on the fate of their long lost sons.
* For over 30 years many have waited for this day in silence !

There is (and there should be) a part of every Lebanese rejoicing in the saying :“what goes around comes around”; but somehow this “festive” feeling is dampened by the savagery the Syrian regime is inflicting upon its own people. Such criminal acts (in some twisted feeble minds) could have been justified when done by an “occupying” power against even a “sisterly” state; but harder to digest when such cruelty is inflicted against your own people (not to use the words “your own kind”).

Today (and yesterday) I feel with my (hopefully repenting brothers and sisters) who remained silent to our plight for over 30 years.

To those very same Syrian brothers and sisters I call for “Tawhid al massareyn”; in the fight for DIGNITY and freedom.

To my brothers and sisters in Syria I say :

“I forgive your silence over 30 years; better late than never. Keep up the fight and maybe one day (hopefully soon) we can both regain our dignity; DEMARCATE borders and LIVE AND LET LIVE. Keep up the struggle, and once you achieve your freedom, no need to apologize for your silence and your past complacency; it’s all in the past!

For the time being, as a Lebanese who witnessed firsthand the power of the Syrian regime’s “boot”, I am rooting for you; don’t let me down. I have no aspirations whatsoever to be “invited” to your country as “KOWAT AL RADE3” and spend 30 years pillaging, murdering, and making you feel that your security and stability depends solely on the whimsy of our local dictatorial (which is not the case) president ELECTED FOR LIFE !

May 24, 2011 Posted by | Politics | , , | Leave a comment

L’amertume maternelle.

No matter how hard I try to phrase it and paint a nearly perfect picture; my words will always fall short. The fact is, and still remains that Joseph’s mother passed away for her heart could no longer take the incertitude and the false promises. And by saying Joseph’s mother, I am referring to Joseph Sader who’s many of you chose to forget, including Ziad Baroud. Fayez Karam still makes the headlines on a regular basis, but the simple “Joe” I guess is not news worthy.
We are too busy trying to predict the outcome of the Syrian uprising and the effect it might have on the land of the Cedars. Some are even rejoicing in advance hoping that the change in our sisterly neighboring state will bring along change for the better; but no one has even considered, taken into account, or even thought about “the devil within”.
Local political analysts, bloggers, journalists; spew texts and articles on how this “newly” found trend of freedom is going to affect this Biblical land of ours, the establishment of “Wilayet al faqih” or even the Salafist (pipe)dream; comparing Egypt, Tunis, Bahrain,Syria, Yemen…Timbuktu; they all fail
Yes the tide is changing and all around us people are rebelling; and locally we are still drowning in our own cesspool of corruption and deceit. Lebanese raise their angry voices in protest for haphazardly arrests in Syria, but all fail to even mention or even hint to the fate of the thousands Lebanese still rotting in Syrian jails.
Even if I could understand such an omission, I cannot begin to understand how many fellow Lebanese are asking for the immediate release of “opinion” prisoners in our sisterly state whilst, locally, the whereabouts of Joseph Sader is still unknown.
Shame on a “nation” (and yes it is in between brackets) that cares more for the safety of the sons of our INVADERS, and turns a deaf ear to the fact that a Lebanese mother’s heart stopped beating because of her worry as to the status of her own LEBANESE son, which until this day remains unknown.
You wannabe protectors of freedom and truth, before you take on the plight of the people of Daraa start by cleaning house; maybe then your “freedom speech” might be taken seriously.
Enough empty talk and analysis from both sides of our political divide; many of MY people are still missing both locally and in Syria. It is about time that we retake our pioneering stand, and demand clear answers from our government (or lack of) first before some of us can paint themselves as THE protectors of freedom and human rights. Vindicate Joseph’s mother!
Wlek Tfeh!

May 1, 2011 Posted by | Personal, Wilayat Al Faqif | , , , | Leave a comment

Walid beyk: “Eat my dirty knickers” !

I still recall the evening with Marcel Ghanem (a persona non grata in my humble opinion) where more than a couple of folders where laid on the table by Walid beyk’s side (another persona non grata) in the course of an interview. A promise was made by the so called leader of the Druze community, to one day unseal those folders, and prove beyond any reasonable doubt that the Syrian regime killed his father. Where are those files now, I wonder? Did Walid beyk decide to use them to feed the fire in his chimney in Moukhtara in order to keep warm knowing that the ton of “mazout” is about to reach the 900$ mark and times are tough? Or is it nothing more than a true reflection of the leech he really is?
To those of you who had the misfortune to witness the Lebanese “civil” war”, I would like to remind you of the times when Walid Jr and Chamoun Jr (R.I.P) use to race cars in Hamra st and were clueless with regards of hereditary leadership.
After his father’s assassination, this once rebellious son HAD to take over his father’s legacy and insure the continuous burning of the Arabic flame. Faisal (from the Arslan “rival” clan) was pushed aside thanks to the great efforts of Khawla for he was not a direct fruit of her womb, and Talal was too young (and in many ways, still is). Hence, Walid beyk became the most prominent representative of one the 18 Lebanese sects.
Times came and went, people were displaced, Deir Al Kammar was besieged (his childhood friend’s fiefdom), reconciliation took place, and repentance was never said (especially not today). My fellow Lebanese and Druze I might add; how can you still rally behind such a fickle leader. Granted your other options are not so bright (Wahab and Arslan), but always remember you are Lebanese; and if your memory should fail you in that respect, then don’t label me a fanatic. Walid beyk is claiming to play a game of survival, your (the Druze) survival. But can you actually believe than when the other side reaches its long term goal (Wilayet Al Faqih), you would fit in?
Take lessons my fellow Druze from Lebanon’s history, and know damn well that you are being used, and none of you will live to tell the tail. Just remember the 7th of May.
Walid beyk : “Eat my dirty knickers”, and I am not a Druze; but I am LEBANESE.

N.B: Where is Joseph Sader?????

January 22, 2011 Posted by | Kamal Jumblat, Lebanon, Walid Jumblat, Wiam Wahab | , , | 3 Comments

Fuck me gently part II.

Fuck me gently; for I fail to understand (once again) why, as a TRUE LEBANESE (a dying breed) I still cannot comprehend:

1) Why during today’s parliament session, no clear condemnation was made with regards to the latest Syrian blunder against Lebanon’s sovereignty.

2) Why the warrant against Jamil al Sayyed (the instigator of the latest Syrian blunder) remains unexecuted.

3) Why once again the subject of financing the STL was postponed.

4) And moreover, why a firm stand was not made (by our so called elected government) with regards to “our” commitment to know “the truth”.

5) Why have we never logged a complaint within the UN or even the (dysfunctional) Arab League for compensation against our sisterly state for damages (and theft) throughout 30 years of hegemony.

6) Why have we not logged a complaint within the UN (and this is not for the sake of keeping the Hizbollahi’s happy) against damages incurred on the hands of the state (and yes I am saying “state”) of Israel.

7) Why is it that as, a state we still haven’t defined our maritime borders (internationally); and yet we go up in arms with regards to shared sea gaz pockets.

8:) Why is it that we (recently) established diplomatic exchange with our sisterly neighbor, but we still do not have defined borders.

9) Why is it that after having dismantled so many spy networks we still don’t know the whereabouts of Joseph Sader.

Many more questions can spring to mind, and not only on a political basis; so brace yourselves for more episodes of “fuck me gently”, which will encompass more aspects of TRUE LEBANESE daily life.

N.B: Fuck me gently, for I fail to understand why Goatee Saad is prime minister!

October 5, 2010 Posted by | Saad Al Hariri | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The drums of war are beating loud.

The drums of war are once again beating loud on all sides of the fence waiting for one side to cross the red line. All sides agree that if there is to be war, this time it has to be decisive. Casualties of war are no longer considered, for the only aim (according to rhetoric, from both sides) is to obliterate the enemy. Although the feuding families in this tragedy are not only the Capulet and the Montague, but also their cousins (thrice removed) the Assad, Ahmadinajad, Nasrallah, Obama, Sarkozy,Brown…etc. I will only dwell on the impact this coming war will have on a little chapter better known as Lebanon.
I figured, after monitoring local and foreign press that the day of reckoning is fast approaching. I figured this out from various speeches (threats) from both south and north of the border neighbors, and from our local “divine” protector. A simple call (past Thursday) to readiness from the supreme leader of the masked epitome of evil (Ahmadinajad) to our enlightened “divine” protector; assured me that very soon the “divine” himself will test our faith (according to the seven pillars) and lead us straight to heaven.
But I am still convinced that my time to meet my creator (who might not be recognized by our “divine” protector) has not come yet, not by miles. “To Jerusalem and beyond” is my embedded crest for I have fought (along with Richard the lion heart) the heathen before you could even claim an inch of this BIBLICAL land.
When the next war will come; and I pray for the sake of my son (and not yours), that I will not, I will close my door to you and your people who will be seeking refuge. Provoked or not, for you and your bravado, have brought it, not only onto yourselves, but onto this entire nation. I will go even further and say that I will hold you and those who (blindly) follow you responsible for every single drop of bloodshed, no matter how disproportionate the response might be.
Hassan, you hold no respect, nor value for the living. The only way you can justify your (and your militia) existence is through your outdated notion of jihad even stretching outside local borders. From once “downtrodden” to now the example of what defaces this country, I not only claim that you are a traitor to Lebanon, but also to what IS a religion of the book which is supposed to professes love and tolerance.
When the next war breaks out, let arse lickers like Saad, Walid, Nabih, Suleiman, Karameh..etc open their doors to your followers (you will be, like expected, hiding in you bunker) welcome them; giving them the front row seats to watch Lebanon and its majority of peace loving people being burned to ashes.
But then again you might think why not, wads of cash (and only “halal” cash) will come from your sponsors to rebuild on an even better standard. So I guess you are only contributing to making Lebanon a better, nicer place.
No thank you very much. Keep your Samir Kuntar, Imad Moughnieh, Bilal, Abou salam, Abou Turab, Abu Ali…etc, to yourselves. I can cite hundreds, if not thousands of: Joseph, Antoine, Georges, Samir, Ziad, Mohamed, Constantine, Mitri, Walid, on different sides of the (local) fence who gave their life for Lebanon, but not for “wilayat al faqih”.
Ya Hassan, do not give me a lesson in patriotism.
The Lebanese courts passed the death sentence less than a couple of weeks ago on 3 traitors working for our arch enemy Israel. They should at least convict you, if lenient, for involuntary manslaughter for what you did in 2006.

Wake up you orange flag branding morons, your leader’s stupidity has given our “divine” protector legitimacy to push us further into the abyss. No Micho is not the second coming of the Christ, he is more like David Koresh and Wako II is Rabieh !

February 25, 2010 Posted by | Lebanon, Politics | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The ultimate failure of the “prodigal” son!

This past Saturday, amidst media frenzy; goatee stuttering spineless Saad took his “courage” into his own hands (or shall I say executed a Saudi command) and ventured onto a trip to the land of bloodily love. This lost child (with a new found selective memory, just like every Lebanese he and M14’s represent) chose to forget about Syrian arrest warrants issued against his closets of allies, by those he publicly claimed had a hand in the killing of his father.

So he went alone, not by choice.
No it was not an official visit, for there was no official invitation. So what was it then? A similar visit to the one Walid Jumblat did after the killing of his father (and by whom, one might wonder)? Has it become a part of Lebanese culture to pay respect and homage to our slayer?
Humor me if you will, for I am a part of the “sheeple” that constitute this “great” nation of ours. I have tried (unlike many others) to find a hint of logic or a half cooked excuse for Saad “lonely” walk along the presidential corridor, and the obvious (long lasting) grin on Bashar’s face, before the (what has become) famous kisses on the “killer’s” cheeks. I still came out empty. My little, abused brain by so many empty slogans, cannot still comprehend nor accept such a blatant “you fucked me, thank you sir may I have another”.
Yes many of you (even those who have warrants issued against them) may argue that this visit stems from the fact that our dear stuttering idiot of a prime minister is acting as a representative of the people (my foot, for he forgot why the people voted for him), and has grown beyond personal feelings and vendetta. But a few of you harbor this bitter feeling that he (and his allies) were unworthy of our votes in the past elections; for he has capitulated.
A devil’s (Saad that is) advocate might argue that in view of:
French policy of “rapprochement”(with Syria that is), headed by some “arriviste” gigolo who would have been better off pleasuring his sexually edible wife (which I guess he is doing).
A first “African American” president with arms extended, having inherited a failed foreign policies from his “new born Christian” predecessor with a “Divine” (failed) mission.
A local Mullah armed to the teeth threatening to wage a holly Jihad against fellow Muslims “first” in order to establish his long “pipe” dream of Wilayet al Faqih.
An orange demented “Iznogood” to whom he made the most concessions.
A major player in the region who still stands defiant; and is still building its nuclear capabilities, and sponsoring local foes.

Stuttering Saad went to Syria, embraced Bashar, kissed him on the cheek, and had the reception of kings.
For me, that is a problem. That is a true description of why we need “new blood”; but what pisses me off the most is when someone like our dear ex President (monsieur 20%) Amine Gemayel has the audacity to say, and I quote “I was amongst the fist supporters of Hariri’s visit to Syria”, but WAIT FOR IT…………..”the wounds run deep”. What wounds if I may ask, the one they inflicted on your departed son?
Wlek ألله يرحم أمواتنا for you have sold them short.

December 21, 2009 Posted by | Politics | , , , , | 5 Comments

The winds of change.

Chavez and Ahmadi Najad are in cahoots even with regards to exchanging nuclear technology know how.

Russian vessel (Arctic Sea) kidnapped, allegedly carrying weapons to Iran. Talk about the Mossad being involved, and a secret visit by Israeli high officials to Russia in order to contain the story.

Turkey FM cancels visit to Israel.

Iraq blames Syria for Iraq terror.

4000 new settlements given the go ahead to be built in Israel/the occupied territory.

And in my country the only talk on the news is about how constitutional the new cabinet proposal was.

Fuck me gently for I worry about those changes and I ask. Since when:

Was the constitution ever respected.

Was, any past present and even future government truly representative of the will and aspiration of the people.

Was Lebanon a master of its own destiny.

Democracy gives way to those who lost elections, and still DEMAND the lion’s share.

When the people sit idle (for it is the tourist season) and accept a 70 day stalemate.

Ya Elias, where are the Migs that you so proudly procured as a gift from the Russians? If I recall correctly we were supposed to have them by no later than August (I guess the Syrians will get theirs first). No you are not the only one who fell short of your  (public) promises, and you are not the only one who let down those million + who took the streets in 2005. Goatee Saad has stepped over his Christian allies in his government proposal. Walid Beik has lost his credibility amongst many of his partners and Druze followers. Aoun has dug himself deeper into the grave of shame (thanks to Gebran Imbecile). And my fellow Lebanese lost the most.

An election took place, and results were cast. An election took place under the flag of a democracy that is second to none in our corner of the woods, so why not act accordingly. Why not? the answer is simple. Hizbullah’s arsenal.

So my fellow Lebanese, I would advise you to reminisce, and long for the time when you lived under the Syrian boot; for then you could still fight. The excuse in those days was, I was fighting against an outsider, an occupying force.

But for the very few of you, who still have LEBANON flowing in your blood; those hindering bastards are not Lebanese by heart, soul, conviction or even allegiance. To all of you who took to the streets in 2005 and then onwards, for once speak out your mind. Pluck every single hair out of Saad’s goatee and Hassouna’s beard, demand that the Iztaz gives back the keys to parliament, that the so called doctor plants cedar trees in Becharre and leaves us alone, that Walid Beik rides his Harley into some far away sunset, that Micho finds  an asylum that can accommodate his many psychological illnesses.But most of all my fellow Lebanese; REPENT. Repent, for what ails this country of ours is from your own doing!

September 10, 2009 Posted by | Lebanon, Politics | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Surtout, ne dormez pas sur vos lauriers !

Not even ten days have passed since the majority won (regardless of what others still claim) the “democratic” elections; that the dark clouds above the Lebanese skies started forming.
.Samer Hanna’s killer was freed (yes on bail).
.The “Iztaz” is most likely, if not definitely going to be reelected.
.Back to “Tawlet Al HIMAR” in order to discuss, and unanimously agree upon key issues (such as Hizbullah’s arms).
‘Israel (after Netanyahu’s speech) is still our number one (and only) enemy.
.National unity government … etc.

BEWARE my newly elected and reelected M14 rs, for you have won with the votes of those I always called “the silent majority”; and they will not sit idle this time. You have been given a second chance (faute de mieux) and you should use it wisely. Gone are the days of compromise and pussy footing. The time has come for all of you to realize that this is your VERY last chance, and decisive action is needed (if not expected).
• The Iztaz had his 17 years of monopoly in parliament, I think it’s enough.
• ‘Les bras ouverts’ to those who lost, is a sign of weakness. Theirs were always (and still are) closed.
• The Doha agreement served its purpose and should only be remembered as a sad chapter in Lebanon’s history.
• Mustapha Hassan Moukaddem should be made accountable for the KILLING of Samer Hanna if only to preserve the dignity of the Lebanese army, and this should not be the case nor the excuse.
• All Palestinian camps should be free of arms in order not to have to deal with another Nahr Al Bared.
• Getting FINALLY rid of the notion of “tawhid al massareyn”.
• Border demarcation between our “sisterly” nation in the north.
• “Bayan al kassam” of the new government should clearly state that decision to go to war lies solely within the Lebanese government, and not in the hands of our local divine turban wearing Iranian puppet and his follower.
• Reviewing all the past treaties signed under Syrian hegemony.
• The return of all Lebanese (dead or alive) in Syrian territories.
• Having the balls to ask Syria for financial compensation (like they did) for the all the money and resources they siphoned during 30 years of OCCUPATION.
• Giving “rightful” status to Lebanese Jews (no longer labeling them “Israelite s”), and moreover representation in parliament.
Mark my words, if you fail this time, there won’t be a rock left in Lebanon for you (M14rs) to crawl under. And if you do fail, the “silent majority” which tipped the scale this time; should demonstrate, burn tires, block roads, erect tents and demand not only your removal, but your public hanging.
The above is nothing but a small sample of what is expected of those we have entrusted (half heartedly) with our notions of what the Cedar Revolution was all about. Samir and Jibran have moved on to greener pastures, I wish that time will never come when they will turn in their graves.

Lebanesegirlwithflags

June 18, 2009 Posted by | Hizbullah, Isarel, M14, Mustapha Hassan Moukaddem, Nabih Berri, Samer Hanna | , , , | 3 Comments